I think this is probably going to be more of a rant than anything else, but I need to vent a little!
I had a Dom recently who I had a lot of fun with, was very nice, and always seemed to have my best interests at heart. We parted very well and very amicably.
This was a few weeks ago and I have since found that it has started to cloud my view of seeing potential older Doms. Now, while I most certainly don’t have a preference for older guys, around my area there seems to be far more older Doms than younger ones (so an availability issue). However, my last Dom was 19 years older than myself (22F and 41M) and I feel the age difference generated the problems that led to me ending it.
To summarise, these were the issues:
• He would lecture me/talk down to me. While I fully believe that he had my best intentions, I cannot bear being spoken down to. I expressed to him at the time that he was making me think he viewed me as intellectually inferior, because of this (something he was very eager to correct and explain). But still. Massive. Turn. Off.
• He would seemingly avoid any topic of conversation that I knew more about like the plague. For example, I am a Medical Neuroscience student and recently started a project investigating the effects of drugs on the brain. Anytime I would mention my studies or my project, he would not engage in the conversation or ask any questions to keep the conversation going. The only time that he did speak about these topics was in an attempt (the last time we met for a session) to lecture me on a very basic neuroscience topic, which gave me the impression he’d read up on the subject simply to lecture me on my own degree. Even then, he didn’t seem interested in what I was contributing to the conversation, and it made me realise that each time I spoke, I was finding myself feeling like I needed to quickly summarise what I was saying as he was just waiting for his turn to talk.
• He didn’t seem to see me beyond the fact that I was his sub (I’m a switch), and a younger female. Each time I would correct him on a misunderstanding he had about me (e.g. that I prefer older men, or that I lack confidence – I actually am a bisexual that prefers women, and I most certainly do not lack confidence at all), he would just nod and then when I would next see him he’d just be repeating his mantra again. I literally had to tell him I don’t prefer older guys *four separate times* before he finally heard me. I've never, ever been involved on any level with someone that made me feel like he barely knew me after so many hours spent with me.
Is this a common experience when having an older Dom? I'm sure it isn't, I just need the reassurance, because I am still reeling from it, lol.