I won't "play" without safewords in place. They aren't there necessarily for if the session is too intense -- say, for example, that she's on the bench and gets a cramp. Yeah, I should notice it, but I'm more likely to be watching the muscles in her hips, back, neck, than the ones in her calf muscles. The safeword lets that get straightened out easily.

Yes, there are subs who won't use the safe word. That's fine. It's my job to know when anyway. But having it provides a level of security and trust that isn't there otherwise.

Ultimately, after we've been together for a long time -- say a RL year -- maybe we could abandon safewords as a symbolic level of trust. And during punishment, safewords aren't in effect because that's a whole other thing.

Not knowing the chat situation, my guess is that someone who doesn't see the need for safewords isn't used to playing hard. Perhaps someone who sees themselves as a "pain slut" but who hasn't been pushed hard enough just yet ... in which case s/he'll come around ... we hope safely!

hJ