Dear LostOne/Karen:

Please do not to give up on yourself. Yes, in some of its mainstream aspects the lifestyle is mostly a joke, but that does not mean that you are also one. It is indeed hard to be the way we are without feeling like an outcast or becoming vulnerable to the ignorance and stupidity of the average wannabe/player out there.

For the longest time I lived my submisiveness and masochism in the privacy of my own mind until out of nowhere someone who loves and understands me for who I am and what I like came into my life. I was not even looking. So, it may at some point happen to you too. In the meantime I can tell you from personal experience that trying to give up who you really are will only make you feel like crap.

I know that this lines offer little relief at this moment but like Thorne pointed out it really does help a little to share what you feel with others. Also, as you explore the forums you will find threads that deal with our struggle to live the lives we have chosen. I want you to know that we are all here for you, even if the only comfort we can give is our understanding.

Nikka
xoxoxo