An emotional piece Slave Debbie, and you had me there with you. My heart hit the ground when he removed her collar. Am also wondering about the journery 'you' have just started; it seems a wonderful launchpad for further writing.

Having just read the comments of the tutors, I would add that when I was taught how to use commas I was encouraged to read my work out loud. If you are like me, you will 'speak' the comma, i.e. take a slight pause with possibly a change in inflection, if you pop a comma in whenever you hear yourself do that in the middle of a sentence you will not be far off.

Looking forward to reading your next piece of writing.

cariad