Welcome Mariedude I`m glad that you and your wife are exploring these things together and both enjoy it.

In addition to the tips you have gotten so far, Iwanted to say that one of the things that is most effectfull for me is the voice.
To be pinned down by his body while not being able to look at him, to be told what he wants to do with me or what I`m about to expect. Blindfolded and talked to in a hushed and husky voice...
To be flirted with while he is pleasing me, him holding my gaze and winking and leering...
Small things that makes me melt and surender completly.

What cariad said about discussing what you find out, in reading or by exploring. It is a very basic and important tool for you two to settle in your roles towards eachother.

I hope you have got some usefull tips and that you will learn a lot more while you are here

Good luck to you both and enjoy the forum.