Age of Consent

[woodsman'sgame]

Spitman writes:
[/QUOTE]That aside, what is the purpose of having an agreed age of consent? I suggest that the most accepted reason is to protect younger people from predatory older people. In that case we need laws based on age difference and not primarily the age of the younger party. A maximum age difference of 5 years is probably about right where the older party is over a minimum age such as 18. I think the law should focus on adults who abuse children.[/QUOTE]

Adults who abuse children are the problem, not children consensually experimenting with each other. The prevention of sexual abuse is the reason we should even consider such laws, but unfortunately, no law will prevent sexual abuse from happening because the majority of child abuse happens within the family. Every woman I know who was abused sexually as a child or teenager, was abused by an older male member of her family. Furthermore, this is the part that tears at me, of all the women I know well enough to talk about such things, over 80% of them were abused in some way as children. I know 15 women who were abused in some way.

But how do you go about correcting the problem once it is discovered? Current laws forcing psychologists and counselors to report sexual abuse to police are actually promoting the continuation of sexual abuse in many families. Many families that would try to correct the problem and seek counseling for the child molestor who is a father, or grandfather, or beloved uncle will not do so because their shame will be known to all. The problem is kept hidden and secret to prevent destroying the family. They try to handle it on their own, but of course, cannot seek psychiatric help for the abused child or the pedophile because by doing so the situation will be made public. In the end, no one is helped and the family is destroyed from within. But at least their shame is not known to the outside world and they do not have to face people on the street everyday who think "Your father, grandfather, husband, etc. is a pedophile." Whether the family is shamed before the world or falls apart from within by trying to hide the secret, the law as it is currently enforced destroys the family.

The approach must be more rational and conducive to preserving the family unit. The abuser must be treated and controlled and the abused must receive counseling and therapy, but the abuse does not have to be published in the local newspaper. Many many pedophiles never abuse anyone outside of the family unit. The psychiatrist examining the pedophile can determine whether he is a threat to children outside the family and decide whether the crime needs to be reported to the police or not. Some cases of abuse are actually one time slip-ups and never happen again. I know of one particular case where the young girl was touched only once on her breasts by her drunken, lonely, divorced father one sad night. The next day he apologized profusedly and never did it again. Such "abuse" should never be reported to police, although a little counseling for the girl and the father so they could both put the incident behind them would definitely help. (She still has problems with the incident but is afraid to seek counseling because of the laws.)

By the way, this is not my opinion based on my limited knowledge. Both my parents are psychiatrists and had to deal with many cases of sexual abuse. After many years of working with children and families, they came to the conclusion I stated above. My mother even risked her career by not reporting one particular case because she knew that reporting it would permanently damage the victim. Unfortunately, some well meaning but ignorant member of the child's family reported it anyway. My mother had to go to court to defend her position (She won), but the child will be in therapy for the rest of her life because the damage was done.

Now for my thoughts on child abuse fiction.

I am one of the ones who objects to fictionalized accounts of child abuse that show this abuse as being erotic. I am biased, I'll admit. I hate it. I see one big difference between these types of fantasies and other crimes, like rape fantasies.
Many women have rape fantasies; therefore, such fantasies appeal to both the possible perpetrator and the possible victim. Child molestation fantasies are not shared by the victim also. The only ones who would be aroused by them would be the potential pedophiles. That one-sided eroticism is to me what makes the difference.