Hi Severusmax,

While this is a fine story, it doesn't meet the requirements of the assignment. You've done a great job in writing from Stacey's point of view, however, it's not in first person perspective. We'll let this stand as what would have been the next assignment - a POV story done in third person and from the female perspective.

Congratulations on completing an assignment you didn't even know you had!

Let's look at what you've done right, then try again.

1. Pacing - this story flows very nicely from one scene to the next.

2. Spelling, grammar - well done.

There are some interesting style choices that you've made which alert the reader to her reactions and emotions.

3. Point of view / Perspective

Stacey's point of view is presented - not first person. She thinks like a man. The words she uses and phrases are the give away here.

4. Story layout - excellent.

5. Consistency - of actions

This needs a bit of work. A re-read might help you catch a few things such as - was Stacey masturbating to a fantasy as in a day dream or was she dreaming?

What's next?

Instead of refreshing this story, let's call it a finished version of what would have been your next assignment.

Please take a look at the required reading material for this level here:
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6313

Using the character of Stacey, take the photo and turn it into her fantasy. Use first person perspective and help your readers masturbate along with her.

Spend some time on this scene, we don't need too much of the before or after story. You can even start the scene with her describing what she's doing and finishing with the story shortly after Cheryl's question and Stacey getting back to work. Try to use as much of the "active" voice as you can.

If you have any questions, PM me or post them here.

Have fun. I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with,

Ruby