Silke - while reading your post, it occured to me that you might have had a version of sub drop that others talked about in the aftercare thread. Not sure since I wasn't there, just what you describe is what it made me think of it.

As far as a kink I have had trouble dealing with. I enjoy asphyxia, the act of choking my partner. It is a very large turn on for me. However I fear of loosing control of the situation, and going to far. I haven't yet, but it has caused me to feel pensive during the fun.

V/R
ID