I'm so sorry you got burned again, Ds. *sighs* This should just never happen - not in a 'nilla context and even less so in a D/s one. I really don't know what to say to this, except don't give up hope, hon. There are wonderful people out there who will do everything in their power to earn your trust and keep it sacred.

I've never been one to trust easily with all my heart, find it difficult to open up sometimes. During the last few months, this is slowly changing...and it's opened up a whole new world to me. I feel so close to the ones I love, above all to Master. He's the one who's been peeling away the layers bit by bit and making me feel good about it. I took the plunge and, boy, did I ever gain a new level of feeling. It's been worth it, and thank God, my experience has been a positive one. I hope you'll meet someone to start the journey again, build up from scratch and find that peace of mind that you deserve.

Please, don't lock yourself in. Yeah, you might get hurt a few times, but believe me, it's better than the stale taste of restrained feeling...