I agree with Spitman...

Sometimes it's best to be unfulfilled in some sense... to have something that remains a feverish dream. If you write, it will certainly improve your writing on that subject, to walk right up to it again and again and never taste it. Especially if it is an extreme.

On the other hand, you would feel awfully good tied to that cross, wouldn't you? <g>

Have fun, and be safe!