Quote Originally Posted by lily26
cariad, you took the words right out of my mouth.

I think we all just have to be careful. Yes, there are newbie subs and wannabe subs as well - but it is the Doms who have the potential to cause so much more damage.

There is always the possibility that these wannabe Doms will eventually find their way to being "true" Doms as well. Perhaps this is just their first step on this amazing journey. I would be willing to bet that a good number of the most wonderful Doms on here have made some mistakes along the way.

Someone just said to me that it took him a while to understand the importance of proper "care and feeding" of a submissive. But he got there. And now he takes his role very seriously.

My advice to newbies on both sides is not to commit to anything until 1) you are sure of what you want, and 2) you are sure of what you are committing to. I took my first collar because it honestly didn't even occur to me to say no (how is that for reasoning?). But you live and learn - and try to pass on some knowledge to those that come after you.
Well, maybe if you're talking physical damage... but I suspect most of you are talking emotional damage... and in that case I disagree.

Wannabe subs do far more harm to true doms than wannabe doms do to true subs. I know we'll disagree on that... but I think I know how many of you feel. You are all pretty open about how you feel when you've been hurt or disappointed. I doubt many, if any at all, of the doms open up when they've put time and effort into someone who just wasn't ready, or merely curious.

Perhaps our pain is greater because we bear it alone.