And start slow, don't expect him to do a whole evening of things at once. Try just one or two things at a time, and build on that basis. Once he sees how good - for him, too - it is, he may be encouraged to go further next time.

For example, if you like to be spanked, let him see how turned on you get by that, and make sure you reward him when he does it well.

Or maybe - if you like it - have him tie you up before you go down on him. If he gets a reward too, it may make him more eager to take part.

It took me a while to realize that Sylvie really likes pain; it's an odd notion to someone who hasn't experienced it for themselves. But by making it very obvious that the pain was wonderful, she let me know I could go further, much further!