Thanks for the kind words all. As a community I believe that it is our job to help educate those around us. Resources are important, but (for me at least) it's the truth and the real stories that hits home. This really happened, it could happen to anyone. Admittedly, I should have gone into what I did more prepared. I should have looked deeper into what I was doing before I did it. The draw of "Someone wants to teach me. How exciting to meet someone who turns me on Someone wants me." was too much and I rushed into the situation. Last thing I would want is for someone else to have to go through similiar.

Per Oz's question:

Warning signs. The man I met, while talking online, had no interest in me as a person, in fact he never bothered to get to know even a fraction of my personality. I was purely something sexual to him. Being submissive is about more than just sex. His entire goal was getting me to do things for him. My feelings, emotions, history, likes, dislikes, pervious experiences were never discussed. My inner voice told me that something was wrong with this, but at the time I ignored it. NEVER ignore your inner voice. It's your subconcious telling you something is very wrong with the situation you are about to place yourself in.

This man wanted to get me alone right away. I knew that before I ever even met him. At the time I explained it off to myself as he just wanted to show me as much of the "life" as possible as fast as possible. Whoever coined the phrase "patience young grasshopper" was a wise man indeed. If I myself had shown some patience and relaxed and learned, instead of the driving, "I'm running out of time, I have to know now" feeling, I would have learned more before putting my life in someone else's hands.

He wanted All control, right away. Never relinquish all of your control right away. You do have the right, and the responisibility to yourself to slowly give over control, and to ask questions about something you're unsure of. When I asked questions the answer was always "because I say so". He expected me to "serve" him without any thought to what I needed.

That's all that I can remember at the moment. In the end, my inner gut feeling told me what I was doing was not the right thing to do. I let my desire and need to serve take control, throwing away all of my own common sense. I regret what happened deeply. However it's not something I would change. It shaped me into the person I am today.