Hi there,

Well, looks like I opened a can of worms. It was partially deliberate - I didn’t understand how the three-way relationship could work, but some of the posts I’ve seen (particularly those from the subs) seem to suggest it can, if it’s managed correctly.

I may have caused offence there, it wasn’t intended. If my questions seemed to be expressed in a forthright manner, it was simply because I wanted my meaning to be clear, and not to express it in polite management-speak.

The other thing I should say is that I’m not offended by those who thought they insulted me. But I should explain my “jealousy”. I do not look at ANY gal on this site who is happy with her guy/gal (no matter how sister/brother subs she has) and think “She should be with me”. My jealousy is really the sort of jealousy that anyone not in a wholly satisfying relationship feels for someone who is.

Now I’ll respond to individual points. Apologies if I miss anyone.
dzire, you make a point that I’ve not thought about - that the dom might need a new sub to complete them. In other words, it’s not that the existing sub isn’t providing what they want, it’s that the new sub fills a gap. If I understand you correctly, and if both subs realise that they are fulfilling needs that the other sub can’t fulfil, I can see how that could work AND be satisfying with no jealousy.

Ah Desperado, if only all gals were like you... we’d probably need twice as many. Smiles.

Tojo, I agree with lisa’s post, and that would work if the subs were able to get on. In that circumstance, it could work. What if they don’t get on? What if they do perceive each other as rivals?

Aesop, I can assure you that there isn’t a LOT of jealousy. I admit that some of my questions might have been loaded, but surely you can see that if there’s a sub who’s not happy having a sister/brother sub, they might be inhibited about admitting it. Your response was as frank as my questions, so I can’t complain. I wasn’t offended, and I normally have a very thin skin. You do make a great point - one-on-one relationships, like all relationships, have a high fail rate. Sadly, we’ve seen that a lot too.

Superbitch, thanks for your post, you have a complex relationship, but the answer to your fourth question proves that these things can work.

Lily and mina, you worded my thoughts in a much lovelier and tactful way than I did! I’m just curious, but I do have a little trepidation about one-on-one subs who genuinely fear that a new sub is brought in. You expressed both wonderfully.

Aussiegirl, of all the posts on this thread, yours is the most eloquent explanation of how a one-many relationship CAN work. Despite your eloquence, it’s your final comment that really sums it up perfectly. If it works, it just works.

fantasy, you point out the tragic thing to an inexperienced dom like me that has lots of good qualities... “subs flock to those they perceive to be good, experienced doms. To those subless doms, I advise you to observe and learn from the behavior and comments of these doms with multiple subs.” It’s the word “experienced” that gets me! Never mind. That’s a different topic altogether.

Oz, again more good points. Your last one is the key: “I don't see why it shouldn't work if everyone involves is communicating.” My counter argument to this is that the existing sub - if annoyed - will hold her tongue, because she doesn’t want to question her dom. That’s really my worry about these things - the existing sub, and how she/he feels. Don’t say it doesn’t happen, and don’t say put it down to “just a lack of communication between existing sub and dom”. It’s more complicated than that in practice: I’ve seen it happen twice in secure online relationships, and I’ve heard it happen in real life. In each case that I’m thinking of, I’ve been (at least) moderately close friends with all involved, and it’s really upset me to see the existing sub go through their heartache. This CLEARLY isn’t happening with Tojo/Aesop/Desperado’s situations though.

Demon, I guess you show that each situation is different, and it’s what is “real” that counts. Hugs.

Dragon’s Muse, I love the expression “He informed that i was going to have self-esteem "in spite of myself".” Thanks for yoru comments, you reinforce (in a different way) what mina and lily say.

Finally, Tom and Oz, I like tits too. Purr.

Right, I think I’ve covered just about everyone, so I’ll leave it there.

Q xx