More than one sub...

[Dragon's muse]

It does seem strange, with all the other issues that can be endlessly debated without getting into the snarkiness. Couple A practices safe, sane and consentual: Couple B practices Risk Aware Consentual Kink. They acknowledge they probably should not scene/play together and no one gets upset. Some get off on electrical, others don't -- and no one feels the need to get emotional and "defend" their rights to shock or not to shock.

This one issue, though, seems to arouse so much strong feeling in a loosely knit group that (as Shins pointed out) is normally tolerant and non-judgemental to an extreme.

Just sad, very sad.

Silke, i would love to hear your views.

[fantassy]

I really hope this thread doesn't get shut down. It is a topic that hasn't been addressed since I've been a member. Many people new to BDSM come to the forum hoping to learn about the various kinks. Part of that learning is trying to understand the nuts and bolts and psychology of what makes a kink work for those who enjoy it. Not understanding does not always equate to not accepting. If a kink gives pleasure to the participants and doesn't harm anyone, I fully accept it. However, sometimes I struggle with understanding. The more people generously share their mindsets about their kink, the more understanding I achieve. In stating "these are the problems I perceive with this kink," I am hoping someone will explain, as Silke did, why those problems are not problems for her. So many of us are here to learn and figure out just how BDSM might work for us, a thread like this is really helpful.

fantassy

[Tojo]

First up the next moderator can be d2p I think.

OK, so we all got a little excited- never mind. I'll try & set a good example, forget all that & speak of my own experience, which is what I normally do.

Well I'm married to a straight woman, who I love very much & intend to stay with as long as we're both alive.

If I didn't have a girl online I'd probably be dead inside & unable to care so much for my wife. I may even grow to detest her for causing me to miss a part of my life that means so much.

I have more than one girl I care for online- I also have a D/s relationship with more than one.

First & foremost in my life is lisa- I'm a kind of carer & friend mostly.
I try & keep her living her life in a way that seems right to me. We've been together almost a year now, spending time together each day.

I also have some sort of D/s relationship with Aussiegirl- I had NO intention of starting something with her, apart from friendship. She's helped me find a part of myself I'd lost for a while. She's a truly beautiful person, who means a lot to me.

Then there's Jane- we don't have a D/s relationship, but we sure have something! There's others, but never mind about that...

To define all the relationships I have would be pointless. I know some girls who are the finest, most wonderful people I've ever met. I am truly blessed.

It works- I get different things from each one, I love them all in different ways. It's not for everyone perhaps- I'm sure there's plenty of women who'd be revolted at the thought of sharing. That's fine by me!

So- if it works for me, & works for them, why should I not love more than one?

I don't believe in flogging, caning, public humiliation or a million other things I see every day on this & other forums. So what? If two people want to do something, good for them. Who are we to judge?

Tojo