UPDATE:

OK, we have been talking a LOT, about everything from hobbies to lifestyle beliefs and what we do and don't enjoy in it. We have so very much in common both in and out of the lifestyle, which is important. We discussed the fact that I 'need' a firm, "stern" Master... and the fact that I've been burned, and that I will sort of test him when we meet. I told him what I need in regards to that. He mentioned that he's not sure if he would do that (besides a stern look) due to legal implications that "could" happen. This I understand completely, but also mentioned that at meeting, nothing that deep would happen. Probably coffee at a local coffee shack. But his demeanor and expressions can say a lot! (to me) He said he does not even give "the look" until a girl has submitted to him. How do I ask him how am I sposed to know if I'd want to submit until I can see how he will react or what level he would react to? I don't want to make him feel like I doubt him, because I really don't. We got into the whole "submission vs surrender discussion... and I am just befuggled trying to find a way to tell him it's OK to give me "the look" when I push his buttons. Maybe I should try to convince myself that it's a vanilla meeting the first few times so I do not "test" him or look for his dominance? Oh heck! Maybe I've just been out of this too long, but I know me, and I need a strong, fairly strict Dominant. Now, I know you all are going to reply with the standard..."nothing should happen on the first meeting"... but it's not like I am looking for a scene or anything, just that right amount of dominance maybe? Hard to explain...

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Ds