On the ball as always SB.

Thanks for the clarification Adam.

Myself, as far as who should approach who, it's about 50/50 for me. However I don't look at someone I don't know & want them to be my sub.

It's hard enough building that sort of relationship with someone who is a good friend, without trying to do it with someone you don't know.

Besides, how do you know they're worth the trouble if you don't get to know them?

The general consensus, as I see it, is that many, if not most successful relationships start off with two people just chatting- PMs first, then maybe email & perhaps IM & phone calls.

Once you've got to that stage over a period of time, you're in a postition to judge how serious the person is with keeping in contact, & whether they're commited enough (a very big point indeed)

I met someone on this very forum pretty much by chance, not long ago. We sent a few PMs & clicked really well. If I had been looking for a sub, I would have just let things happen. So far every girl I've ever had any sort of play or D/s relationship with has asked me- apart from one. That didn't work out....

Oh & I say to any sub I talk to, whether my own or not, that it's their job to say hi to me on IM. I believe those with the least confidence should be in the position of the most power.

That's just my thoughts- hope that helps someone.

Tojo