Why Do We Submit??

[Flaming_Redhead]

1. Why do you submit? What is the drive? What is the reward?

I submit because it makes me happy. I have always been submissive, though you wouldn't notice it immediately as I'm outgoing and opinionated. I need approval. I need to please my man. At the same time, I don't feel the need to please everyone.

2. How did you ever start down this path? Any bumps along the way?

I'm not sure when I first became intrigued. It must've been in my late teens or early 20s, but I've had to push it to the back of my mind since my husband is definitely not the dominant type. I was always the one in control throughout the marriage, and I was never comfortable with it. Since I've left him, I've been drawn more and more strongly to it. The bumps along the way have more to do with trust. I have a very hard time with the amount of trust you must place in someone.

3. If your submissive side of your personality is different than your "everyday" self, how do you reconcile the two? How do you switch back and forth? What is your trigger for getting into "sub mode?"

I am a walking contradiction! I like to be in control, but I have a strong desire to let go of that control. I don't want or need to be micromanaged, so it's easy to switch back and forth.

4. Anything you dislike about it? Anything you would rather change?

I dislike the stereotypes associated with it. Due to women's lib, it's very unpopular for a woman to be submissive. I dislike people thinking there's something wrong with you if you enjoy anything other than the missionary position. I wish I could change people's attitude about it. Not everyone is into an extreme fetish. Not everyone walks around scaring the natives.

5. Does any of the above change based on whether or not you have a current partner?

I am getting divorced from an extremely vanilla man, and I have decided that I will probably be unwilling to develop a serious relationship with a totally vanilla man again. He was unwilling to provide what I need, so why would I want to end up in the same situation? I've played with a couple of guys who are not really lifestylers, so the majority of my experience is online for now.