Wow, there is some really amazing stuff here. Thank you, everyone, for sharing your experiences.

I am the type of person that always wants to know "why?" About everything. Often to others' great irritation and annoyance. The most all-consuming "why" that I have ever asked myself is "why am I driven to submit?"

At first the answer seems easy. Because I NEED to. But of course, the easy answer is rarely the complete one. I have to drill down farther. Here is the best I have come up with, so far:

Submission quiets my soul.

When I am in complete "sub mode" there is but one thought, one focus. To please Him. All of the other worries, and concerns, and quandries float away. The millions of other day-to-day events and details immediately become inconsequential. I live for only one thing. Two little words.

"Good girl."

That is the release, the drive, and the reward, all wrapped together. Safety and security is found in the knowledge that He looks after me, never lets me fall, and assists me in becoming a better person. When I feel pulled in all directions due to outside distractions, He reins me back in, and causes me to once again re-focus on the goal. Pleasing Him.

Unlike some of you above, I wouldn't necessarily call myself a "people pleaser." Don't get me wrong - I would walk through fire for my family and close friends, but I have never had a problem standing up for myself in everyday situations. I am not yet sure if that is a help, or a hindrance, to my submission.

What I was most surprised about discovering is that any sexual gratification, release, and pleasure is entirely secondary to the above. Of course, it is still GREAT, but it is secondary.


TomOfSweden, thank you for poking your head in and giving us your encouragement. I hope that other Dom/mes will do the same.

Oh, and by the way...the "He" above is entirely generic.

That is what I have come up with so far. I will update you all as I acquire additional revelations.