What a wonderful post lily! It is something I have given a great deal of thought and caused me to do some of my meditation on my own submissiveness. Strangely the more I have allowed myself to submit in r/l and online the stronger and more secure I have felt. I have found it completely empowering to "give" myself, the level of trust and commitment required of both parties fills me with a sense of security that I had never felt before embracing this side of my personality. It completely changed a part of my life that I felt was empty and unimportant to a part that I find tremendous fulfillment and energy from.
In many parts of my life I continue to be the dominant force, the caretaker the one making most of the decisions, I personally find that the more I explore and open up to the submissiveness in a sexual context, the stronger I feel to handle the rest of r/l responsibilities. I find that it is with a special person that I am able to move forward and discover new aspects of my sexual and overall submissiveness...that it is never anything that makes me feel weak or insignificant, but rather the opposite.
So submissiveness is where I feel most alive, when it is with a trusted and respected partner I feel more pleasure and contentment giving myself over than I had ever thought possible or ever experienced in "vanilla" life. So as much of "vanilla" life and responsibilities requires my attention, I feel blessed to have online found a place to feed what I now know is important and nurturing part of my soul. I could ramble on for pages *giggles* ...keep up the wonderful work sweet lily...you are an awesome one!
hugs and licks!
cali