Thanks everyone - interesting & helpful. This is my first question to the community and I'm so grateful at getting friendly, caring responses and so quickly.

You all had helpful advice - I would particularly like to thank Tom of Sweden and pttwyn. Yes, does he realise the Pandora's box he's opening up and getting back? I'm lucky, he is a caring, loving man - sounds wierd, I guess, but he's very gentle. But we havn't had the chance to discuss our activities and what they really mean - we've just sort of got on with them! Luckily, we're getting to spend some extended time together come end November. Tojo, I'm doing a lot of reading and thinking and will try to get us to take it slow - not what we've been best at so far! - and will go to that site, thanks. ElectricBadger - he's WAY ahead of me on the concepts! but yes, is it lifestyle or play?

Thanks again, everyone - and I will let you know how we get on.