"? Heres what i mean, all of those individuals, as mature as they are, respect me, and follow me not because i bark orders at them or even because of my position in the group. They follow because they want to, because of the way i treat them with respect and never loss my temper and can even make a heated argument seem controlled. Am i making sense?

Ok, so, in my D/s relationship i would consider myself a "soft natural Dom" By this i mean that i do not have to whip my sub into submission (except when though thats what she wants) but she submits because of the way i carry myself, the words that i use, and can control her with the softest touch. "

If you ask me, yes, you're making sense. As far as I'm concerned you just described what a leader (or a Dom) should, in my opinion, be able to do.