You need to take scripture on the whole, you can't pick and choose, in order to confirm your point of view. When Paul says that a women should be in submission to own husband, he meant just that. She is not to take the role of head of household, nor is she to be in any role that makes a man be in subjection to herand if she does, she will have to account for that. As well as the man will account for allowing her to do it.
My problem is in being a Christian (blood bought) and also having a bdsm lifestyle. Sometimes i feel like my flesh takes over, and the desire for my husband, and his pleasure takes priority, it's a difficult balance sometimes, i guess that is where trust and faith come in.