About Younger Women

[acissej]

I was 19 when I started dating a man who was 42. Neither of us were intentionally seeking for someone of a different age (we were both trying to find someone interested in a long-term BDSM relationship), but we clicked and we both felt we owed it to ourselves to give it a shot. I have to admit, his age terrified me, but I'm all for trying anything once and this was no exception. Neither of us ever imagined the relationship could have succeeded, but, now, more than five years later, we're still together and will be getting married in August.

At times, his age still does terrify me. Twenty-three years is a pretty big difference. And I have to face that, unless I die at an unexpectedly young age, it is highly likely that he'll die twenty-plus years before I do. I'm not saying that to be morbid, just to be realistic.

That's pretty much what went through my head when we started dating. A lot about death. A lot of questions about whether he and I wanted the same things for our future - marriage, kids, a house in the suburbs, etc. I wondered about how my family and friends would react. And I did question if I saw him as a father figure and if I was looking for someone to repair the damage my father did to me. I don't think that was the case, but it really skeeved me out at first when I realized he was only a few years younger than my father.

Drake, no matter how much thought you give this, you'll probably never know for sure where this could go, unless you give her a chance. Despite all the thinking I did, I felt this much older man was worth the risk. No, he's not the man I originally envisioned being with for the rest of my life, but, now, I can't see my life without him. You never know what can happen.

Sorry for babbling,
acissej

[MrJerseyGuy]

This is an old thread but I just ran across it. At 45, I have always been attracted to younger women. My current g/f of a year and a half is 15 years my junior. Granted, 30 is a little different than 19 but...

As far as "taking a chance", we are always doing that. Every relationship can only end on of two ways...either you stay together or you don't. As recently as when I was 38 I dated a 20 year old who had more maturity than half the women I know who are twice her age. I'm sure that's an exception, but you never know who is and who isn't until you try.

Just get ready for the jokes from your friends..."Where you taking her tonight? Chuck-E-Cheese?"

[drake7]

acissej said,

And I did question if I saw him as a father figure and if I was looking for someone to repair the damage my father did to me. I don't think that was the case, but it really skeeved me out at first when I realized he was only a few years younger than my father.

Before, and after reading this thread the father figure thing really had me thinking a lot- after all it's something that would make a lot of sense and Morrighan was observant to first note it. At the same time though, it just doesn't add up. Her mother died a few years ago and her father has been taking care of her since then, and instead of a few years difference in our ages he is in his fifties; her parents didn't meet until they were in their thirties.

Your post was quite positive and helpful acissej. It was from a female like you that I was hoping to hear; someone who was actually in a relationship of this sort. I don't know what my friend and I may end up being to one another long term, but I certainly hope the best for you and your future husband.

Drake.

[usedHil25]

well, my BF has a serious want for younger girls. He currently is doing a 17 yr old on a fairly semi-regular basis. he also travles a fair bit & has found a few high school age girls here & there.

He has outright said, for sexual experience (not their experience level, but the experience of fucking a tight girl) he loves it. BUT he wouldnt in a million years consider dating one of them because he generally finds them annoying.

Ironically the 17 yr old hes playing around with these days WANTS a relationship with him & has been pushing for more form him weekly. He has tried scaring her off by telling her what he & I do & that she could never win him over because she wouldnt dare try any of that, yet she has so far not balked at any of his suggestions & just this last week he has finally accepted that he has to figure a way to cut her off completely, althogh he also says he doesnt want to because he love how good her cunt feels wrapped around his cock.

I personally am OK with him doing this. as without it, he would likely run me into the ground. As it was, before she came around I was getting worn out by his sexdrive. I may love it, but he seems to just love it that much more.

I think, if she wants to be just fuck-buddies. Congrats for you. However, if she is hoping for some emotional attachment, run & hide. We arent a very stable emotionally settled bunch in our teens (hell even at 25 I cant say I;m all there).

[drake7]

It seems she does indeed only want a physical relationship.

I am in quite good shape physically, but it is still nice to find that a member of the opposite sex so much younger finds you attractive.

I appreciate all the good advice and insights from everyone who responded.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

What do we have here? Another for old time's sake.

[maratsade]

Times they are a changing. Both my grandfathers were more than twenty years older than their wives. I didn't know either of them in a mature sense. But reminisence by their children - my parents, aunts, uncles, etc. - suggests that the relationship was good in both cases.

For myself, though, I would wonder whether I would be able to keep up with someone so much younger. Or whether I would want to.

[csr]

For years I passed judgement on people who dated way out of their age bracket. It is really easy to point fingers at examples where it didn't work--and of course there are difficulties involved when you have a different set of life experiences and are in a different point in your life.

However, I have found myself for the past few years in a relationship with a much younger woman... 14 years, to be exact. I resisted starting it because I didn't think I would be satisfied, or she wouldn't be, or it just wouldn't last.

Well, my friend talked me into it--citing that if she is worth the trouble, then it is worth putting the work in. He was right, and we've never been happier. Yes, she doesn't know words to Pink Floyd songs, doesn't get jokes about Ronald Reagan, etc... but this type of thing is surface.

My new rule to live by:
Age is just a number... it's the individual that counts.

Not to mention the fact that I have learned to NEVER assume that I know better than anyone else in their choice of partners. (abuse excepted, of course)

[Walace]

I don't see any trouble in having a older/younger boyfriend/girlfriend. My late relations have all been with much older womans, and I'm quite sure of it: age had nothing to do with relationships.

I have had a preety good time with a 29 years woman when I was only 21, and all that ilusion I had about older people being more mature begun losing it's sense. A few other girlfriends later (most of them were likewise older) the diference has became even irrelevant.

Actualy, my girlfriend (we've been together for 2 years now) is at her fifties, and I'm only 24! And believe, it's still no diferent from a regular relationship. The only pro I can possibly see is that I get very aroused when I think about that diference.

If there's ever to be any diference, it should mostly be that she's very insecure, thinking if I wouldn't be better with someone of the same age, or if I would be hapier with my friends... Well, I think the choice is mine. And if I've chosen things to go this way, most probably it's because I like it best.

Remember, you don't have control over people's will. The best you can do for her is to make your own choice based on your feelings, and nothing more.

[ProjectEuropa]

...all that ilusion I had about older people being more mature begun losing it's sense.

I'll totally agree with you here. The one thing I have learnt with age is that older people are exactly that, older. We have all the same nonsense and stupidity in us and it doesn't go away. I think the wisdom age brings is the understanding and recognition of just how immature we all are!