What about size?

[Morrighan]

I'm neither male nor dominant (sexually, anyway) but I've been through what you're going through. When I decided to enlist, I had to lose fifty pounds to meet my weight requirement. It took a year of working out (two hours a day, five-six days a week) and a diet to lose it. And I tried all the diets, including the cabbage soup diet, which kind of worked. Kind of meaning that I got sick as a dog and lost five pounds that way.

It's hard for men to understand what it's like for a woman, being overweight. You look in the mirror every day and hate what you see. You're uncomfortable, and your self-esteem takes a nosedive. You don't consider yourself attractive enough for anyone's interest. And it's harder for women to lose that weight; our metabolisms are generally slower, and we have more body fat to begin with. The best advice I could give you is to stick with it, and RUN. Running burns off more calories than just about any other exercise. At my best, I was running 15-18, sometimes 20 miles a week. It took a long time to work up to that, though. When I first started, I was running two miles in 40 minutes. There were the shin splints, and the self-consciousness every time I walked onto the track at the gym. It's HARD. One of the hardest things I've ever done, including basic training.

I feel your pain. But from a different angle, losing the weight didn't make me that much happier. Oh, I was proud of it; proud of every new muscle that appeared, proud that I could see my collarbones again, and that my cheekbones sharpened. I LOVED being able to find stylish jeans again. (They just do not make them for anyone above a size 10. God, I hated clothes shopping.) But with all that, you have to be happy and confidant with who you are, not what you look like. Trite, but true. Good luck.

Morrighan

[James2024]

It's hard for men to understand what it's like for a woman, being overweight.

ahem



i think your not giving us men enough credit


i konw for me i do understand that sturggle all to well.


corse i have four sisters and was rasied by my mother as a single parent

[Barton]

I would have to agree with what has been said before. Your lover would not be there if they did not find you attractive and wish to be there. The more posts I read at this site the more I see that we all seem to have a few things in common, foremost of which is that we are in our relationships sincerely and honestly because we wish to be there. We are driven by what is real not what some media driven ad campaign tells us.

Do what you have to do to please yourself, but you don't need to be so hard on yourself.

Barton.

[fetish101]

ahem



i think your not giving us men enough credit


i konw for me i do understand that sturggle all to well.


corse i have four sisters and was rasied by my mother as a single parent

yeah..I know my metabolism is not fast..I need to work out and do lots of cardio to counter the calories I take in. Men look in the mirror too and don't like what they see (unless they're in shape of course).

[Lord Thomas]

scarletakb, it has been said many other times here already, but I would like to add to the aforementioned sentiments; your lover does not seem to have issues with your weight. Which is good. As a male and a Dom, a lover, a husband, and even a father; I can not see how I could be responsible to any of those roles if I allowed weight to interfere with my pursuit of any of those.

Now there are health issues about weight, it is true that overweight people have more health problems than slimmer people. So what, life happens to all of us. There are those who will be heavy, those who will be toothpicks, who cares. I do not see how one's weight should affect one's relationship with one's self and one's lovers, in concievable to me.

Obviously, your lover and your husband have not found you less than beautiful. Beauty has nothingto do with size. Does anyone remember Marilyn Monroe? She was not petite. This cult of anorexia that has swept our culture is truely sad and disgusting;but you do not have to participate, no one does.

Beyond that, you have stated that you are working on your weight, you excersice, excellent. The body needs that, but your mind needs the calestentics of positive attitude. Don't let the words of mino-minded and less endowed assholes cut you to the quick. you have the right to be proud of yourself and your body. There is no perfect body, if there were we would be mass produced on assembly lines, so don't let it bother you, if you can.

Alright, I know I am a male an therefore not caable of understanding women completely, I actually do know that.

[Curtis]

A lot of things go into attractiveness. I don't like women who smoke, but all of the last five women I fell for were smokers. I'm not much for overweight women, but I dated two of them in college. I still haven't sunk so low as to fall for a redhead, but it could happen (heaven forbid).

The thing is that people are a package; there may be something you don't like about the package, but if the other things outweigh it...

Don't think "overweight", think "gestalt".

[lynangel]

I can totally relate here although mine is a different story.

I have always been on the "chubby" side but rarely too badly overweight until my mid thirties when my weight ballooned and I became really obese.

I decide that I was not going to be "fat and forty" so I decide to lose the weight and it took 15 months for me to lose 96lbs. I felt great. Then I gave up smoking, became depressed and in the past 6 years the weight has gone back on with a vengeance.

Now...through all of this my hubby has stuck with me. Thin, fat, in between, he has not changed one iota. Obviously as the "fatty" that I am now I am unable to be quite as flexible as before but we improvise and just get on with enjoying ourselves. My weight now is a part of my health problems so I do have to lose it again....not easy when i am having hip problems and exercise is not feasible. Someone has just suggested to me to try yoga to start and I will look into that as a possibility.

My point is....through all the ups and downs our life has adapted to accomodate my size. Our enjoyment has not really been affected, except recently with my painful hip things have gotten a bit ouchy sometimes.

You are making a positive action in your life and you will feel so good when you reach your personal goals and your confidence will grow with that. In the meantime however, just enjoy life with your lover. Your size seems not to be an issue with him so try not to make it too much of an issue for you. 50lbs is an amazing amount of weight to lose and I applaud you. It is hard and every pound shed is fantastic. I should know cos I've been there!

Take heed of everyone here who has told you that other peoples thoughlessness should not make you feel bad. People will always critisise...and not just about weight....its human nature....sad but true.

Maybe I will be able, in a few months, to come here and boast about losing 50lbs too!! Here's hoping!

[Mobius]

There are heavy people and there are skinny people.
My Brother has a set of twins you can realy see the differnce in the 2 one takes after her mother very thing almost to thin. Just going into the first grade she is about 65 pounds (guess) Then there is the other she takes after her father my side of the family she is big for her age heavy i'd say pushing little over 80 pounds. They both eat likes birds very health councouse.

That is a fair bit of it. The heavy one will never be the thin ones size. Geniticly it just is not going to happen. It is not fair but that is the fact of life.

I have been heavy all my life. Geneticly I am large but I also have a monky on my back. I like to eat and I eat out of bordome. But even if I did not. I will never be skinny. There is no going back once you are heavy. You can lose wight and be healthy, but but your not going to get to that goal of 6,1 170 male adonis. When you are large things chang to support the wight bones get bigger muscle builds up and so on.

I could go on the strictus diet in the world and I have but I will never be porn star thin. It is not in my geans or my slacks either.