What about size?

[Curtis]

A lot of things go into attractiveness. I don't like women who smoke, but all of the last five women I fell for were smokers. I'm not much for overweight women, but I dated two of them in college. I still haven't sunk so low as to fall for a redhead, but it could happen (heaven forbid).

The thing is that people are a package; there may be something you don't like about the package, but if the other things outweigh it...

Don't think "overweight", think "gestalt".

[lynangel]

I can totally relate here although mine is a different story.

I have always been on the "chubby" side but rarely too badly overweight until my mid thirties when my weight ballooned and I became really obese.

I decide that I was not going to be "fat and forty" so I decide to lose the weight and it took 15 months for me to lose 96lbs. I felt great. Then I gave up smoking, became depressed and in the past 6 years the weight has gone back on with a vengeance.

Now...through all of this my hubby has stuck with me. Thin, fat, in between, he has not changed one iota. Obviously as the "fatty" that I am now I am unable to be quite as flexible as before but we improvise and just get on with enjoying ourselves. My weight now is a part of my health problems so I do have to lose it again....not easy when i am having hip problems and exercise is not feasible. Someone has just suggested to me to try yoga to start and I will look into that as a possibility.

My point is....through all the ups and downs our life has adapted to accomodate my size. Our enjoyment has not really been affected, except recently with my painful hip things have gotten a bit ouchy sometimes.

You are making a positive action in your life and you will feel so good when you reach your personal goals and your confidence will grow with that. In the meantime however, just enjoy life with your lover. Your size seems not to be an issue with him so try not to make it too much of an issue for you. 50lbs is an amazing amount of weight to lose and I applaud you. It is hard and every pound shed is fantastic. I should know cos I've been there!

Take heed of everyone here who has told you that other peoples thoughlessness should not make you feel bad. People will always critisise...and not just about weight....its human nature....sad but true.

Maybe I will be able, in a few months, to come here and boast about losing 50lbs too!! Here's hoping!

[Mobius]

There are heavy people and there are skinny people.
My Brother has a set of twins you can realy see the differnce in the 2 one takes after her mother very thing almost to thin. Just going into the first grade she is about 65 pounds (guess) Then there is the other she takes after her father my side of the family she is big for her age heavy i'd say pushing little over 80 pounds. They both eat likes birds very health councouse.

That is a fair bit of it. The heavy one will never be the thin ones size. Geniticly it just is not going to happen. It is not fair but that is the fact of life.

I have been heavy all my life. Geneticly I am large but I also have a monky on my back. I like to eat and I eat out of bordome. But even if I did not. I will never be skinny. There is no going back once you are heavy. You can lose wight and be healthy, but but your not going to get to that goal of 6,1 170 male adonis. When you are large things chang to support the wight bones get bigger muscle builds up and so on.

I could go on the strictus diet in the world and I have but I will never be porn star thin. It is not in my geans or my slacks either.

[fetish101]

That is a fair bit of it. The heavy one will never be the thin ones size. Geniticly it just is not going to happen. It is not fair but that is the fact of life.

I have been heavy all my life. Geneticly I am large but I also have a monky on my back. I like to eat and I eat out of bordome. But even if I did not. I will never be skinny. There is no going back once you are heavy. You can lose wight and be healthy, but but your not going to get to that goal of 6,1 170 male adonis. When you are large things chang to support the wight bones get bigger muscle builds up and so on.

Nothing is impossible. The problem is, you sound like you've convinced yourself of that. If you watch what you eat, exercise every day and burn more calories that you take in, then it will happen. All it takes is true dedication, that's the hard part.

I ride my exercise bike every morning for half an hour and burn 400 calories on it. Then I go and do a 1 hour weight training work out on my home gym and afterwards feel so energised it's unbelievable. Yes the muscles burn, and half way through it I still need to motivate myself to keep going, but 10 minutes after I'm done I feel spectacular. lol I sound like an infomercial.

Anyways, I'd suggest that everyone try it (you don't have to do quite what I suggested above..I worked up to that point) for a month. If you all don't drop at least 15 pounds, then either I'm lying or you were lying to yourself about your dedication.

[James2024]

Fetish your stomach becomes a certain size and then there is a limit to just how small you can become. Not to say exerscise is not a good things its healthy bulids confidence and does cause weight lose. However short of sugery there are limits

[fetish101]

Fetish your stomach becomes a certain size and then there is a limit to just how small you can become. Not to say exerscise is not a good things its healthy bulids confidence and does cause weight lose. However short of sugery there are limits

No, and in fact I had this problem with my stomach wanting more food than was good for me. Using weight watchers philosophy, I ate lower point value foods (points are how weight watchers watches calories/fat etc) and over about a month, my stomach started to want less and less food to keep it happy. In effect, it shrank to fit my needs. Then again, I was only 40 pounds over weight, so it may take more time for someone bigger to do the same thing. But the point is it's possible, I'm evidence of it.

[kittenfemme]

I have the same problem... only from the opposite side of it. I'm too damn skinny. I hate that. I've tried all sorts of things to put on weight. I've run tests (benefits of working in the medical field) to see if I've an off thyroid. I exercise a fair amount. But I've come to accept that I can't keep weight on.

I often worry about assuming certain positions because it will look as though I've no curves whatsoever, or because my ribs show, or my legs are so skinny that they look like twigs and make my knees seem very knobby.

Thankfully, I receive a lot of positive feedback from my lovers. I may scoff and let it roll off my back, as bad duck cliches are want, but it helps a lot. My Mistress compliments me too, and I can't dismiss those or I'll get in BIG trouble.

I think that what it comes down to is something someone else already mentioned in this thread. Those who find me attractive aren't usually after just my body type. There are a plethora of other things that add to just the image that I project (hairstyle, hair color, clothing style, how I walk, how I speak, my smile, my cold eyes, et-cetera), not to mention who I really am. If attraction was only based on body type then I'd be a lonely, lonely girl.

Many men may enjoy the Hollywood stereotype but I prefer the company of other women, and women (myself included) tend to enjoy a lady with curves... a real woman as opposed to someone with a rail-thin, anorexic supermodel silhouette. I typically prefer submissives, Dommes, and lovers in general who do NOT look like they just walked out of a fashion mag.

There are exceptions. My Mistress is one of them. She's absolutely stunning in a mainstream way. But women who look like that and perpetuate the high femme attitude generally turn me off. I usually like a lady who is pretty in a much more conventional, every-day way.

Part of that is because it's just what I like. I can't explain it. I just dig women who aren't stick figures.

Part of it is because I can't stand the "prettiest girl in the room" syndrome... the "I'm going to walk all over everyone and get away with it, not because I'm more powerful, smarter, stronger, or cleverer, but because I'm prettier" way of thinking. Gah.

Above all, either seeing a woman on her knees in submission or a woman standing in front of me while I'm on my knees gives me a clean slate. Outside of any D/s agreement between that woman and myself I know that either she's mine or I'm hers... at least for a time. I can bend her to my will and teach her what I want or have those things done to myself. She either gives power or takes it from me willingly. That's what I consider important in a BDSM context. That's sexy to me.

[SirRetribution]

It is what it is. Some men love bbw's. I know some doms that would have nothing else. I know other doms that like their women thin like a tooth pick, and others in between. It how you see yourself not how others see you.