So new and so lost

[Pandora's Box]

Thanks Lucy

However... this was big. I feel like I've been kicked in the gut. I don't know how quickly I'll be able to get back on the horse this time.

He had no right to induce these thoughts and feelings within me if he was going to walk away without a word.

I'm sad. I'm angry. I feel abandoned. I look at the poems and other things he sent me and can't believe what the reality is in front of me. Nothing matches up and nothing makes sense. My intuitions are confused. And so am I.

[slavelucy]

Thanks Lucy

However... this was big. I feel like I've been kicked in the gut. I don't know how quickly I'll be able to get back on the horse this time.

He had no right to induce these thoughts and feelings within me if he was going to walk away without a word.

I'm sad. I'm angry. I feel abandoned. I look at the poems and other things he sent me and can't believe what the reality is in front of me. Nothing matches up and nothing makes sense. My intuitions are confused. And so am I.

Oh, Pandora..yes, it is very upsetting and disappointing to realise that someone you had feelings for and put a lot of yourself into (emotionally and otherwise) possibly wasn't the person you believed them to be, and, if has so readily let you down then, by definition, he wasn't the person you thought he was. Hence, i can more than understand how hurt you must be and that feeling of 'being kicked in the gut', you need to take some time to look after yourself, there's no need to 'get back on the horse' straight away.

One thing - you are absolutely RIGHT when you say "He had no right to induce these thoughts and feelings within me if he was going to walk away without a word...and you must really focus on that, his behaviour is thoughtless and deeply ignorant and insensitive and it is not, in anyway your fault, regardless of something you may or may not have said in that journal that put his nose out of joint.

*hugs*

lucy x

[Pandora's Box]

One thing - you are absolutely RIGHT when you say "He had no right to induce these thoughts and feelings within me if he was going to walk away without a word...and you must really focus on that, his behaviour is thoughtless and deeply ignorant and insensitive and it is not, in anyway your fault, regardless of something you may or may not have said in that journal that put his nose out of joint.

*hugs*

lucy x

Thank you for saying that. Right now everything is turned upside down for me. I couldn't help but wonder if I was possibly over-reacting. I'm still stunned and I'll be that way for a bit. Some part of me is going to be holding out hope for a day or two. And then... it'll be done and he'll be gone... without a word. And it'll be final.

It just seems like a lose lose situation all the way around. I don't want to learn bitterness. I don't want to learn anger. And I, heaven forbid, don't want to be so wary that I look at men differently.

*sigh*

I'm rambling.

[Katmandu]

Oooh, poor sweetie! Keep the faith, hon, he's out there somewhere....in the meanwhile, glad to see you sticking around here!

[Pandora's Box]

Yes... I'm trying. Some of the shock is wearing off. It's just all so odd. One day it's great, and one day it's not. And with no words of warning in between.

I'm not used to dealing with flakes. Nor did I think he was one... Ahhh but then I must have been mistaken. *sigh*

Well, not much I can do about it. It is a learning curve. Damn whirlwind romances.

And most of all: actions speak louder than words.

[Morphis]

This is sad indeed, so dissapointing. I have experienced something along this line myself, and although not as severe as this, I can imagine how you must feel. I wish I could say something to really make you feel better, but I wouldn't know what. Except that I agree with Lucy: it is not, in any way, your fault. Don't blame yourself.

I wish you good luck and lots of strength.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

So, PB, you didn't here from the guy after Saturday? Do you know why?

Did he really just drop you like a bad habit or is there possibly some other reason?

For instance, is he broke and his internet service got shut off? Did he get into a car accident and break his leg and is now sitting in the hospital in traction? Did he go skydiving and his chute didn't open and he's been splattered all over some farmland somewhere?

Without more information it is hard to tell if the guy really is a skunk or if he might just have a good excuse for not contacting you.