Trial and error and exploring your inner self are the ways I've found my role. I spent many years thinking I was submissive when in fact all it was was the enjoyment of a little pain. Masochistic tendencies.

When I tried submission in real life I was suprised at how much I found it anathema. I just couldn't do it. I found myself wanting to grab the lady concerned and put her over my knee. I also have never met anyone with a strong enough personality that has had me wanting to submit.

I also think life's too short to limit your self according to someone elses sets of rules, guidlines or even opinions. I say get out and play, experiment and find your own niche, wether it be Dom/me, sub, slave or switch.

JMO for what it's worth.