No, Tour guide, cyber BDSM is not the same and can never be the same as real time BDSM. First and foremost, cyber cannot ever become a lifestyle.

Unfortunately, the porn industry will not make money touting the docile school teacher/Domme or the rugged construction worker who is submissive in his relationship. Without the leather and hideous portrayals of BDSM that is created by and further feeds the fantasies of those who dare not venture out in any respect, we will find no further understanding or acceptance.

However, responsible BDSM sites and forums, such as these, go far to allow people to explore the lifestyle from the safety of their home and permit them to discover that we are just people, much like themselves.

As for cyber BDSM, it feeds a need for those who participate. It just won't feed my needs.

As cyber BDSM is pretty one dimensional, I refer to it as a "kink" versus a "lifestyle." To practice BDSM as a lifestyle, it pervades many aspects of your day to day life and is not something you can turn off by logging off. (Nor would most of us want to!)

Anyway, just a few thoughts to toss in.