Personally, I don't think it is really anyone's fault except for maybe a lack of communication right from the beginning. It is really important to communicate right from the beginning; let each other know what you want from the relationship; what you will and will not do; and find out if you are compatible before you get too serious and end up hurting in more ways than one.

A good tool is a submissive/dominant questionaire which lists a great amount of activities and you can rate them from something you absolutely love to absolutely will not do under any circumstances. You can make a list of activities that are important to you and vice versa, give them to each other, and see how well you match.

One other thing that you have to remember as well is that you both have to be willing to compromise and that your needs are every bit as important as his (although some would disagree with me on that one).

It's not easy finding the perfect match, but if you stick with it you will eventually find Mr. Right and not Mr. Right Now.