Why are so many BDSM girls fat and ugly??

[tehya]

I have humbly decided to respond to this thread, not the originator of it.

This is an issue that has been so much a part of my entire life... my weight! God how I can remember my mother putting me on diets as a very young girl. So from as far back as that, someone has always tried to mold me to their idea of what my body should look like.

This continued through to my adult life and has plagued me, even somewhat to this day. I have always tried to maintain a body weight that just seems unnatural for me. And let me just say that big people do not necessarily eat gross amounts of food. I don't, but I am a big woman.

I must say though, that since being introduced to BDSM and my Master, i have begun a transformation. Actually beginning to understand more about myself and my appearance. I'm big, but I am not ugly. My partner finds me attractive and well proportioned, and has never once asked me to lose weight. He would support me if I felt I needed to make a change to better myself, but that is it!

Some day I hope to get to the point that I can look in the mirror and be totally pleased and content in who I am. I'm working on it... But I have to tell you, it helps so much to see everyday people showing off everyday bodys... how sexy, erotic and honest is that!!!! I admire each and every one of you for it!

Master's tehya

[jaeangel]

Number one:
Who is to say what is fat and what is not? It's in the eye of the beholder, a phrase which has been repeatedly used on this topic thread and yet has been ignored by those who refuse to find the meaning in the spirit of the phrase. If fat is defined as being a specific number of pounds overweight according to some stupid medical chart some overeducated doctor has thought up, then I am fat too. I am 5' and 130 lbs. And I'm okay with that. Yes, I look at Jennifer Lopez and Brittany Spears and Lucy Liu on TV and wish I could look like that; but in the end, that's not who I am, and even if I were to change the outside I'd still be the same person inside. And that person on the inside is what matters. I have to look at myself every day in the mirror and be happy with the person looking back at me. Therefore, I'll do what I have to in order to be happy.
Another thing to think about; there are sites on which pregnant women are in bondage too. Do they count also as fat, Alex, Whipit/Manwhore, and anyone else that has something to say about the way a woman looks or doesn't look? Most men seem to have a 'thing' for pregnant women (I was working as a cellular sales rep in a mall kiosk through the last trimester of my first pregnancy, and I was getting propositioned by an incredible number of men. Even AFTER they saw my wedding ring! Girls, we've all heard it said that men have a thing for pregnant women; I'll tell you something, being pregnant, petite, and Asian all at the same time was like holding a T-bone steak in front of a starving man! Fat can be beautiful, too. Don't let anyone tell you you're fat and ugly. As long as YOU can look at yourself in the mirror and say 'I'm beautiful' then you are beautiful. Regardless of how the outside looks.
Men: If you haven't seen the movie 'Shallow Hal', then I suggest you go and rent it, and watch it with an open mind. It stars Gwyneth Paltrow...and I forgot who the guy was. The lesson inherent in the movie is that no matter what the girl looks like on the outside, what's inside matters most. Do us 'ugly/fat/unattractive' girls a favor, and watch it. It's a wakeup call.
Number two:
The First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America say that all persons are free to say what they wish, however they wish. However, the morals and societical norms of the time the Constitution was written vary greatly from the societical expectations of today. Things we say now could be construed as insults back then, and could actually cause duels to the death! Therefore, I call out Whipit/Manwhore. I demand that he present his sword and defend his opinion with his arm. And I warn you, I'm very good with a sword! I've had years of Tai Chi sword training!
All right, levity aside, what I'm trying to get at is that, while we are technically free to say whatever we wish, some opinions need to be CAREFULLY thought out before the words are allowed to fall. Freedom of speech also requires some common sense when one is speaking. If you don't think before you speak, you could get in a lot of hot water (the which you already know.) Temper your words with common sense. Nowadays, duels are fought with guns, rather than swords, and there are no steps counted/first blood rules. Piss off the wrong person and that person might come back and shoot you while you're sitting in the bathroom jacking off to Brittany Spears's picture!
Okay, that last was a little crude, and I apologize. But even the Supreme Court realizes that words should be processed with the brain before being allowed to leave the mouth. Why else do you think that Ku Klux Klan manifestos are suppressed and banned, and BDSM magazines, drawings, etc. are still sold? Because the one involves common sense and thought, as well as consent; the former involves uninformed racist views that do nothing but hurt people. If you go up to a Klansman and ask where the nearest good taco place is, I'll bet he'll be able to give you directions. Ask him whether he prefers wonton soup or hot and sour, he'd probably have an answer to that too.
Anyway, this is long winded enough. Please remember: Temper your words with wisdom, and respect the people around you (even online!). Remember, what you do will come back on you threefold. I hope that someday when the above-named offenders are old and gray and hobbling down the sidewalk, some young punk says 'what an ugly old man'. Then you'll know what it feels like to be judged.
Judge not, lest ye also be judged.