Tired of it, just sick and tired of it all

[MrJerseyGuy]

Wow PB! You sound really upset. I've been on the internet since before they invented it (still have my "AOL version 1.0 for DOS disk!) so if I could just offer an insight...

Hooking up with people online is something a whole lot of people are doing these days. It can be a great way to meet people and I truly believe that the anonymity can promote people to be more honest than they would otherwise. You can get to know someone much better in the same amount of time as you might in a face to face relationship...at the same time it requires the utmost saavy and caution to weed out the liars and jerks. I tried the whole "internet dating" thing a few years ago when it seemed like all my friends were doing it. None of them ever worked out so I went back to meeting girls the old fashioned way...in a bar! At the same time I have made some really great friends online. One girl, who I love dearly, maintained a constant dialogue online with me for 2 1/2 years before she turned up at the bar where I was working part time for training. I was assigned to train her. There was never a romantic interest between us...but we continue to be good friends. She has since moved to Florida.

The internet "chat" environment is kind of like a great big bar for people...a social gathering place you might say. But like any bar, it has more than it's share of jerks. Many of them find it easy to prey on those who are new to the scene. Some almost make a science out of it.

Getting back to your post... It might be different for men than for women, but I've never found it easy to meet someone special when I was "looking for it". The best relationships I've ever had came along by accident.

One last thought...

Once a relationship goes south I think the best thing to do is move on so you're out there to see when a good one comes up. In my experience, once somebody who is supposed to love you shows you that they are an ass...it doesn't get better, but it always gets worse. If someone cheats on me, I turn my back and never look back. There are no second chances with some things, especially that.

I look forward to seeing you in the chat again. Good luck to you. I'm sure better days await you!

[Barton]

I agree that once a relationship goes south it has run its race. Best to put your enegry into yourself. And yes everyone says that when you don't look you will find. When I was single I heard that so much that I was ready to scream, but it turned out to be true.
There are a million idiots out there but there are also some diamonds. Keep faith in yourself and you will find what you are looking for in your life.

Barton

[ValKyrie]

I remember feeling much the same way not so long ago.

Take care of you.

[Garmonbozia]

PB, I can assure you that many of us, who are searching, feel the same way. There just seem to be so many people out there who really have no idea what they are doing when they write that they are "submissive" (obviously this is from a Dom's point of view). Since beginning my search on the net, and it only really began a few months ago, I have met a few girls and all have misrepresented themselves horrendously with their online profiles and chats.

This is not only very frustrating but it also begins to turn you off the idea of ever finding someone who is genuine. I do not buy the idea that you find the one for you when you aren't looking. Most people are looking all the time! There is no way I am going to sit back and cruise along in life and hope the sub I am looking for bumps into me.

I honestly don't know what to do about using the net to search for a submissive. I thought it would be an ideal place to go, after all you would start by already knowing they are interested in bdsm and you would know many of their likes and dislikes, saving you a hell of a lot of time testing the waters and being afraid of sending someone running for the hills at the first mention of some fetish or other. But from my point of view the girls who I have contacted are either:

rude and obviously not submissive - making demand after demand of you before they will deign to reply in a civil manner, if ever.

tourists - being tittilated by being tied up with scarves does not mean you are submissive

complete liars - luckily you can spot these fairly early on but still the winnowing process becomes ever harder simply by their presence

misguided/misreprented - I recently met a girl who stated quite clearly in her profile she was looking for a 24/7 relationship, which is what I am searching for. In subsequent online chats she kept up the masquerade, sounding extremely sweet, obedient and enthusiastic. Yet upon meeting I find she is interested in someone who likes bondage but she doesn't want to be "ordered around". She basically liked bondage but that was it. Even when she was tied up she was still attempting to issue orders. I told her to change her profile to say she liked bondage but was not submissive but it still remains unchanged ready to infuriate further Doms.

These have been my personal experiences and I will persevere for a little while longer but I do fear that the online avenue produces nothing but frustration and anger in those who are indeed looking for a serious relationship.

Jason

[vinsint]

You sound like I did some time ago.

People Lie. People use. People get bored easily.

Not all people. But you can only get lied to, used, and tossed aside so many times till you just had enough, and no longer have the strength to put your chips back out on the table.

I hope you're not at the end of your rope. If you are, then sorry you are, and hold on tight before you do fall too far.