Tired of it, just sick and tired of it all

[Barton]

Pandora you know what the real truth is. You will find better.

[SoDom]

I’ve come to the conclusion in My life that the “internet” doesn’t create the problems I’ve faced in finding intimate connections. It enhances that process tremendously. It speeds things up sometimes and slows some down. It also exposes people much more rapidly and the issues truly aren’t “unique” - compared to 3D connections. It’s part of the life we all live in this century. I can go to Europe in a day and send a communication or transfer funds there in an instant. And? I can “fall in love” much faster too. I’m not as “trapped” by space and time as I would be in a different age. That brings its own issues with it. Of course, life-expectancy is longer now too....
But Gaaawd I DON’T CARE! When someone says one thing and then does or says another? When My heart is invested? Damn it all! Experience changes things and teaches well, but there are always more lessons to be learned it seems. I know experience doesn’t make things hurt any less.
As far as what can and can’t be salvaged? That is a personal issue every time based upon the dynamics of those involved. I know if and when I find that bond - I loathe to give it up too easily because we never know what lies ahead do we?
I’m always so damn careful, especially with another’s heart. I’ve stepped away from people I truly liked and cared for because I knew My feelings didn’t match theirs and likely wouldn’t. Try as I might -I find that person though? BOING goes the spring of My heart. One in a million? It could be if I do the math actually.
I can’t say I’ve faced what it is you’re dealing with PB. I’ve caught up on some of the posts, but I know I can relate to the dynamics and ranges of emotions. It sucks. I use exercise - lots of it -to channel as much of My energy as I can while dealing with such things. But it doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do, it simply takes time to go through and it sucks and it does seem “pointless” to put one’s self out in the faith only to be pushed off. It doesn’t matter “why” - what the reason is because it still hurts like hell. So? Keep posting, at least in doing that you’re being brave enough to allow others to share and it helps Me actualize the fact that I’m not terminally unique. I’m relieved that other people connect on the internet and develop meaningful relationships. And with all kinds of results - just like any other way you meet people.
The gallows of heartache are frightening when they appear, but they don’t have to be fatal to your heart. It sucks, more than sucks, it isn’t fair - because it takes time. Yeah - the one thing you can’t “buy” the one thing truly finite to our human selves.
Time to zip it now - take care and thanks for giving Me a place and impetus to vent.