sub17, I don't really have anything of substance to add to what has already been said.

I remember when I was still establishing my own self image as a sub using flappancy as means to top from the bottom - just made him oh so cool and calm as he took control of the situation. Shudders.

I know that I have said things to Uncle which have upset him, and once I said something was really painful. That had been a flippant comment and I know that my intent was such. I am sure he also knows that intent, or I would probably not be wearing his initials now, but I hurt and upset him, and when I realised what I had done I was devistated.

I do not think he was being overly sensitive, he just has different sensitivities to the man with whom I live, and I had not learnt those.

I would not wish to be in a relationship with a man who was not sensitive; the chances are he would not be appreciative of my sensitivities and if he did not care enough about himself to be sensitive I think he would be a fairly uninteresting person to be with.

How do I deal with the situation when I have hurt my Dom's feelings? This is a personal answer, I am not saying that it is the correct way to deal with it.

As the horror of what I have done hits me I will feel absolutely terrible. I will then honestly and unreservedly apologise and ask for forgiveness. I have never known this not to be given, although often there is a period of coolness as he has to deal with his judgement of me. During that time I will have to struggle to remain open to him, because my natural instinct is curl up in a ball in a corner and cry my eyes out. In practice I normally do a mixture of both.

The positive is that this is followed by a time of reconcilliation and a realisation that we understand each other a little better than before.

Protect me from insensitive Doms, and protect me from being insensitive to their needs.

cariad