Daes,

Even something as small as a demand to refrain from wearing panties or taking them off is a form of BDSM play and a first meeting is not a time to begin playing with someone, regardless of how much time you have spent talking online or by phone. The first meeting is to explore compatible interests and to generally become acquainted. You may be submissive, but you are not his submissive and you have no obligation to treat him with any more than the common respect that is due any other person in a social setting and of course he has the same obligation to you. You were totally correct to refuse him and I really think your instincts tell you he is not the person you seek. I echo what many others have said here, there needs to be a trust building phase and a Dominant has the responsibility of earning your trust and making you feel comfortable from the very beginning. THis may not be news to you, but there are many pathetic men who simply have the selfish desires to take advantage of women and disguise themselves as "wannabe" Doms. I think this person has already proven himself to be that sort. My advice to you whenever you meet someone who immediately begins to make demands as he did is to run, and run quickly in the opposite direction. I would not waste any further time with him as there are many responsible Dominants who know how to act with the proper decorum. As a Dominant, there are of course expectations that I want met from a relationship with a submissive, but it is not at all a selfish thing. Ideally, the things I want and value will come from meeting the needs of the submissive in a give and take from mutually enjoyable and meaningful activities. Good luck!

Ob