"When I did meet, he requested that I call him Sir, and told me that if I wanted to learn about this lifestyle I should do it first hand. He then proceeded to hand me a letter which stated that if I was truly submissive, I would go to the bathroom and take off my panties and give them to him. He would give them back when we got to his hotel room. Needless to say I went to the bathroom and left the bar immediately."

This InstaDom obviously took a crash course in DOM 101 by reading some BDSM stories online and deciding that was all that was needed. Yes, in theory when we read these stories they are arousing. But fantasy and reality are two differnent things. Just like many of us have rape fantasies but we don't really want to be raped.
Every situation in this lifestyle is different. I did do some tasks and assignments for Master after I begged him to be my training Dominant and before we met in real life. That was my wish. He never forced anyhting on me until I requested his training and guidence. He respected me completely and, in fact, made me take baby steps at a time when my state of sub frenzy wanted to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Any Dominant worth your gift of submission will be a wise and patient Dom.
Daes and cadence...I applaud you both for knowing what is right and keeping you self respect! ~bliz~