Early Fantasies

[jaeangel]

I was an orphan in a slave market in China back in the days of the emperors. The emperor's procurer would be so struck by my beauty I'd be bought and taken to the palace, and at the tender age of ten I'd be trained to become the emperor's painslave. He liked to inflict pain and use his concubines anally, and most of them didn't, so they trained me to take the pain when the emperor was in a vicious mood. The Chief Concubine kept me constantly bound, and every day, at least once a day I'd be stimulated to orgasm (carefully not taking my virginity, of course) while getting a whipping. The intent was to make me associate pleasure with pain. And they filled my ass with larger and larger dildos, and I'd have to wear them all day because the emperor liked anal. When I was fourteen, the leagl age for those times, the emperor ordered me to his ed for the first time, and was so pleased I managed to cum three times, from my anal rape, my vaginal rape, and my flogging that he had me installed as Chief Concubine. The former Chief Concubine didn't like being supplanted so she sold me out f the palace, and I spent some time in the city, being abused and tortured in a chinese whorehouse for people who liked inflicting pain. My ability to cum under intense pain reaces the ears of the prince, who comes down to sample me, and he likes me so much he buys me and takes me to the palace to serve as the slave there. The emperor sees me one day orgasming under the prince's flogging of me, and recognizes me. The Chief Concubine is tortured and beheaded for selling me, and i take my place as the chief Concubine, for both the Emperor and the prince.

[redEva]

that is really hot fantasy jeangel... curious thought was that really your first fantasy? and what triggered it?

[angelpet]

I started fantasizing about being submissive when I was 13. My family, one day out for a country ride, had found about 100 issues of playboy and penthouse on the side of the road, in a box. Well my parents kept them and those magazines sat on our back porch under a piano bench, next to my bedroom door all my teen life. At night as I lay in bed, I started reading the articles and stories. The bondage related ones always made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and always stuck in my mind. So I started to seek those stories out, ripping the pages out and making my own collection of stories that I liked the best. After reading the stories, I would lay there and masturbate and fantasize. I would dream about how I was placed on a table in the center of about 5 men, sometimes the men were young boys my age. Slowly I would be stripped of my clothes as each man would touch and tease me as they took a piece of clothing from me. I would be tied up then and they would take their turns with me. They would stand around me, jacking off while each of them took turns ravishing me one by one. Sometimes I turned the fantasy into Bikers that captured me and took me out to the desert and had their way with me in the same kind of scenario. I was always the submissive one in my fantasies growing up. Not the “helpless damsel in distress” kinda girl….just the submissive one.

I believe that I was born submissive; almost everything about me is submissive, right down to my vanilla personality…

I thank whoever dropped that huge box of Magazines on the side of the road that day. I feel that was the awakening of my submission, as it brought out what I feel is natural to me.

angelpet

[jaeangel]

Yes, that was my first fantasy. I was ten, and I had this report for Social Studies class where I had to give a brief history of my culture. I'm Korean, and knew nothing, so I went and did some research. While I was working on the report I noticed that invaders from the two main empires in Asia were constantly invading the smaller countries and trying to take over, and Korea was one. And i figured that if they fought battles, they'd take prisoners of war, too. Later that same year I read a book called 'Spring Moon' by Bette Bao Lord for English class, and that introduced to me to the whole notion of children raised by concubines within the confines of the Forbidden City. It was only months later that I realized when I went to pick up my summer reading list I picked up the wrong list. The reading list I picked up had The Taming of the Shrew and The Handmaid's Tale and Jane Eyre on it, and i read all the books on the list, and loved every book. and when i went back to school and handed the ten reports for my summer reading to the teacher, i found out that I had books like Black Beauty, Heidi, and Charlotte's Web on my list, not the fun stuff I had read over the summer. I did get my summer reading credits, and the teacher did grade my reports, but my mother was scandalized when I asked if I could get a pass to start checking the 'Fourth Grade and up' books from the school library. Why would anyone want to read 'Tom Sawyer' when they could read 'Handmaid's Tale?' I loved that book. Still love it. Just the whole idea of wearing a uniform that marks you as someone's fuck girl, and being forced to submit to having sex with a man because his wife can't have kids and she wants them.. ooh.

[slavelucy]

Why would anyone want to read 'Tom Sawyer' when they could read 'Handmaid's Tale?' I loved that book. Still love it. Just the whole idea of wearing a uniform that marks you as someone's fuck girl, and being forced to submit to having sex with a man because his wife can't have kids and she wants them.. ooh.

You know, it's funny how different people perceive text or what turns different people on, because despite my sexual tastes (heh! ), i felt nothing but utter bleakness and sadness during much of 'The Handmaids Tale'. (infact, it was one of the very few novels that have ever actually made me cry). Ever since reading your post, i've been trying to figure why this is...and the only words that come to mind are passionless, claustrophobic and well, bleak. i am quite confused by my own feelings towards it, because i find the actual notion of sexual slavery quite horny, in fantasy, but Atwood doesn't present it as fantasy, it's grittily and horrifyingly real.

Anyway, i'm rambling, just thought i'd add all that for no other reason than to say thanks, i like hearing about different perspectives on books and your post was quite thought provoking to me.

sl

P.S. jaeangel - that first fantasy you posted - crikey, you could make that into a novel! It's so detailed and intricate for such an early fantasy.

[redEva]

Thank you so much for your response, jeanangel, I truly enjoyed it. It is amazing how books can trigger emotions and fantasies, and how, as lucy pointed out, same read has different meanings for different people.
I have to admit that I did not read the books you are referring to, but now they are on my list – curiosity .
It is most amazing and intricate fantasy for such an early age. Thank you for sharing.

[jaeangel]

P.S. jaeangel - that first fantasy you posted - crikey, you could make that into a novel! It's so detailed and intricate for such an early fantasy.

Well...yes, I guess it was...i guess we all know why I'm becoming a writer! (I'm working on my third full-length novel right now, and it's the first one I've thought actually might have a hope of getting published. It's not BDSM, though, it's a regular historical fiction. Does involve rape and torture though, if only in a glossed-over, nonspecific way.)
But I 'bloomed' early; I had breasts at six (or rather, mosquito bites) and got my first period at seven. By the time i was ten my hormones were in full swing. I started regularly masturbating at twelve. I was raped at fourteen by my 18 year old boyfriend, who took me out to a school dance and drugged me into having sex. If he'd asked, i would have consented, as long as he used a condom; but he didn't ask, and he didn't use a condom. So I had to have an abortion after that; well, I wasn't physically, emotionally, or mentally capable of caring for a child then. I know the abortion debate's been done to death, but considering my age and the fact that I was drugged, i had a good reason. I do feel guilty abut it sometimes, for all those who are about to launch into a vitriolic denunciation of my choice; but it was the only choice I could have made at the time.
Thank you for the compliments!

[jaeangel]

Most of the book I didn't like; it was grittily realistic and in its own way very depressing. It wasn't really the book, it was just...the whole idea of sexual slavery, i guess; the fact that sex could be ritualized and brought forward to that extent. The idea that women could go about wearing clothes that marked them as fuck toys, and nobody would say they were bad, or dirty.
My mother was a strict, traditional Korean mother, my father a very strict Irish Catholic, and sex was a taboo topic in the house. I actually didn't know what a 'period' was for until two years after it started; I hid it from my mother for a whole year before she found out, because I was afraid of her reaction if I spoke about something happening to me 'down there'. She just bought me pads, showed me how to put it in my panties, and said, 'It's normal.' My older sister didn't get her period until she was fourteen, so I couldn't even ask her that; we didn't get along anyway. And nobody else in my class, or anyone I knew, had it. i was ashamed to ask the school nurse, cause that sort of thing i thought was supposed to be told you by your mother, not a stranger. And when they started sex ed courses in school (you might remember that you had to get signed permission slips to take sex ed in those days) and my mother never signed those slips. I spent sex ed in the library doing homework and reading. I didn't have an actual sex ed course until my senior year in high school, when I took the little pink slip Mom refused to sign and forged her name to it (well, I was eighteen, I thought i was old enough to make my own choices by then) and listened to the teacher repeat the stuff I'd already learned from the books I'd read. It was redundant, by that point; but informative, all the same. And it counted as a Physical Education credit, which i needed because i failed gym the first semester.
Okay, I'm rambling. That was too much info. Thanks for listening anyway!

[LaJan]

Great story! I really got started with "recycled" Playboys and Penthouses, too. I saved some of them to this day and the ones like Billy Carter's interview and John Lennon's last interview usually impress even the women I know. ("See honey? I do read the articles!"). My friends and I used to discuss the Forum section of Penthouse and, from time to time, I was asked to loan one. It was years later that I discovered why...

I started fantasizing about being submissive when I was 13...
angelpet

[angelpet]

Great story! I really got started with "recycled" Playboys and Penthouses, too. I saved some of them to this day and the ones like Billy Carter's interview and John Lennon's last interview usually impress even the women I know. ("See honey? I do read the articles!"). My friends and I used to discuss the Forum section of Penthouse and, from time to time, I was asked to loan one. It was years later that I discovered why...

I did not get a chance to save any of the Playboys and Penthouses or even the stories that i tore out...but i do remember my younger brother asking one day as we were all sitting around bs'ing about the past..."I wonder who tore out a bunch of the stories in those magazines?" I just sat there with this sly smirk on my face! hehehe

[LaJan]

ROTFLMFAO!!!

I did not get a chance to save any of the Playboys and Penthouses or even the stories that i tore out...but i do remember my younger brother asking one day as we were all sitting around bs'ing about the past..."I wonder who tore out a bunch of the stories in those magazines?" I just sat there with this sly smirk on my face! hehehe

[Kallie Thomas]

Interesting question. Actually I used to, and I still occasionally do, fantasize about men. I mean a man dominating another man, no females involved. Even before I understood what sex (intercourse) was that was a fantasy of mine.

Wow, same here--I remember being 12 years old and fantasizing about boys/men being dominated/raped. It's still something that gets me off.

My first fantasies? Wild, bondage-type things. I remember being 7 years old and imagining everything from kidnapping/tight bondage/torture to being (don't laugh) caught up in a giant spider's web (think Shelob), totally caught up as the beast approaches. While these fantasies did create sexual feelings, they didn't take on an openly sexual tone until I was 11-12.

Kallie

[TheDarkOne]

Hmmm, early fantasies, eh? Well, for me it's hard to remember, but I remember very clearly that I at an early age (10-13 or something) became aroused when seeing people in movies on TV and such bound, captured or forced to do things against their will and my fantasies evolved from those things and ended up with me being the one with the fantasies I have today, I guess .

[GoldenGirl]

i can remember being about 7 or 8ish and fantasizing about being kidnapped n forced to do work n such but i never relay fought it.hmmm.. n the being burned with like cigarette buts and being tied up to sleep... later on these fantasy's just turned to wanting just to be tied up and bound and then when i was like 13 or 14 i actually started to tie myself to my bed rails to sleep with ace bandages n pretend that someone was making me sleep like that n such

[himind]

I remember reading The Wizard of Oz and getting excited when Dorothy had to slave for the witch.Even while playing cops and robbers I would prefer to be the robber who was tied up(if I played the cop,I would tie up my friends too tightly!)

[TaintedLovexx]

later on these fantasy's just turned to wanting just to be tied up and bound and then when i was like 13 or 14 i actually started to tie myself to my bed rails to sleep with ace bandages n pretend that someone was making me sleep like that n such

I started doing that as well, around the age of 14-15 (puberty and starting to fantasize and masturbate frequently). I felt ashamed/strange/silly doing it, scared by the thought that anyone would ever find out, but I loved it too much to stop.
Also started cutting a bit (soley for sexual pleasure, it never became a problem), gagging myself with socks or pantyhose, things like that.
...And then I read "The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty". And things started getting progressively clearer, and more exciting since..

[slavescout74]

When I first reached pubert, I used to fantasize that I was captured by A german troop, was tortured for information, but would not co-operate, finally in frustration, they gave up and were going to kill me. One of the soldiers was given permission to torture me to death.
That summer I was almost gang-raped in real life, as they say, real rape is about as much fun as going through the windshield. However, after the incident was over, I had fantasies that they actually went through with the act, abusing me until I co-operated.
I used to dream that you could buy a real person cloned on the person of your choice for say $.25 from a machine so you could "own" and haave sex with anyone you wanted.

[slavescout74]

My first fantasies were that of being a soldier captured by the enemy, tortured for information and of course I don't break. In frustration,I am turned over to a sadistic soldier who is given permission to torture me to death. Another fantasy setting is that a delivery boy of some sort notices I am home alone, he breaks in, works me over and rapes me.

[boundbyu]

very very nice thread

when i was vanilla my dreams were of being a secret agent and the only way they could get the answers from me was to use water tourture. lol and this was before i knew about the lifestyle.

boundbyu