In retrospect, you're right, it could have been worse; I could have died. However, at the time, I was actually praying for death, I was in so much pain. You try being hogtied all night, with piss stinging the cuts that a whip left in your skin, and having mosquitoes use you for an all-you-can-eat buffet, and have a car-washing rag in your mouth tasting of grease and oil. It was horrible. Horrifying. I stayed away from the lifestyle after that; I've only just started to explore this side of my personality again in the last few months.