Pain Training

[MrJerseyGuy]

I don't know that someone who doesn't enjoy pain can "learn to like it". Someone who is already turned on by it can work on improving limits, but thats a whole different thing.

In my own relationship I find that getting her really hot first...just to the brink of orgasm but not allowing it, definately improves her tolerance and desire for pain. It's a constant "up and down" thing. Works well for us. Good luck

[Dslave]

It is difficult to make someone into something they are not... whether that someone is yourself or someone else. You need to both be enjoying what you are doing. That doesn't mean that a slave or sub has to enjoy all of her/his punishments but she/he has to enjoy submitting to them at least. And if she/he is getting pain for pleasure I would hope it would be pleasurable. If it isn't, then maybe it isn't something she/he should be doing. Just as if giving or administering pain bothers a Master/Mistress or Dom(me) maybe they should be doing other things. I think both parties need to be totally comfortable and I do think that is of utmost importance. If you are doing something just to please someone (even in a vanilla relationship) rather than being true to yourself it always has the potential to be disasterous.

[jaro_99]

yeah..pleasure AND pain is the key to it - mixing them together can be a big help even if the pain itself does not bring direct pleasure - basically, distract them somewhat! *smile*

but take it slow...you never really know what a sub/slave can endure or learn

and remember, as tough as it might seem to moderate your desire to really let them have it, for the sub the point is submission - they're submitting to the pain and the key thing is what's in their head...its good for us Doms to learn to appreciate that even if we have fantasies about drawing blood or leaving huge welts

and lastly for me...pain is a strange thing and so are people's attitudes to it - I used to see a woman who was very much not able to accept canes...but severe biting sould prodice very strong orgasms and she also loved our attempts at fisting (though other women surely would find that far too uncomfortable)...so try to be flexible or creative about what 'pain' means in your play

have fun

J

[myri_SN]

did fisting really for the first time yesterday, some guy who sort of raped me tried it a year ago but i dont think that counts, i did not agree to play with him.

Master tried a few times and stopped as soon as he thought he hurt me, no idea hwy but it seemed to me like it.

so after a long time of more hinting that i do love stretching he did it again yesterday and did not stop.

it burnt like fire the first tiem he tried to get in but that got better. no idea how long it took till he got there but i loved it and i just hope he does it again.
however id o love pain anyway. just when it burnt that much i nearly regretted that i kept going on asking for him to try it as i did not imagine it beign that buy at the start.