When Doms hit on Dommes

[Learn Humility]

I'd agree with that.

Although I've never attempted to Dom a Domme, in general, the greater the challenge, the greater the satisfaction.

[AndrewBlack]

Maybe you look great and they just fancy you?

[masterkurt]

I had a one year relation with a girl (I was 42 she was 36) and, of course, I started talking also about my kinky sides, to find out whther she could be interested.

To my surprise she showed herself very ibterested, but not in submitting herself, much more in having a female slave available.

So I started to talk to her about caroline ... she wanted to know every detail and many times we had terrific sex talking about caroline's tortures and humiliations.

After I while I proposed to her (Sabry) to actually share the slave and enjoy it together. She accepted and, while I was on a business trip abroad they had the first telephone contact and arranged for a date. caroline was at the sea side with her children ... Gabry visited her late in the evening, when the children were already sleeeping and enjoyed a slave for the first time, whipping her softly, having her own feet licked and adored by caroline and experiencing for the first time oral sex by another woman.

The next day she called me and told me all details about their meeting, howmuch fun she had and asking me to go to a sex-shop and buy some large dildo she wanted to use on the slave.

Few days after we had our first threesome and we enjoyed the salve together sexually and sadically.

So we found out that a couple of 2 dominant persons could be very satisfactory, provided we had a slave female to enjoy and use.

We played many more times with caroline until our relation broke off, for completely other reasons (SM is not everything in life).

Still we got in contact again a couple of years later and she asked me whether she could borrow caroline from time to time, to enjoy her, alone, or with her new BF. caroline and I agreed and she was invited a couple of time to dinner by Sabry ... that is, to serve dinner and after dinner as a slave

Other times we met again, alone or with other friends, just to enjoy caroline together.

Besisdes this personal experience I have known other dominant couple who enjoyed very much their life together and any chance of having a slave as a common toy and pet. Mark and Helen, for instance, who rented caroline once in a while as a gift to each other...

Therefore I believe that two dominants can make a very good working couple and enjoy BDSM atogether a lot.

[slavelucy]

Sheesh, yeah, how annoying ValKyrie...

i'm not sure what TG amd Master Kurt are referring to is the same sort of thing...that, to me, seems to be a mutual thing...and the way i read ValKyrie's post, she is referring to dominant men constantly approaching dominant women, despite being rebuked repeatedly.

Having said that, it depends on what you mean...do you mean they approach you in the sense of wanting to dominate you?? Or just in the sense of..*thinks*...well, i dunno, coming on to you? If it's the former, then i don't actually think they are true dominants at all or they would have some respect for the fact that you are also dominant and not open to being dominated.

i also think (and this is only a personal opinion) a proportion of 'dominant' men seem to secretly harbour submissive desires, which, for whatever strange reason, they don't feel comfortable openly expressing. They have an interest in BDSM generally and feel it is somehow more 'fitting' to label themseleves dominant (which is shame), but go on to come on to Dommes or attempt to suddenly switch in a scene (or even in an o/l chat)...trust me when i say this is annoying to submissives as it is to Dommes!

Finally, i think some folks are just interested in BDSM and generally kinky...not that there is anything wrong with being kinky (for want of a much better term) or just being 'into' BDSM without really knowing where you 'fit'....but it causes a great deal of confusion when that person tries to pour themselves into a mould for the sake of labelling.

sl

[GaryWilcox]

i'm not sure what TG amd Master Kurt are referring to is the same sort of thing...that, to me, seems to be a mutual thing...and the way i read ValKyrie's post, she is referring to dominant men constantly approaching dominant women, despite being rebuked repeatedly.

I guess it could be a desire to submit to the other dominant, or it could be just finding something about the other dominant attractive and interesting despite their orientation... or it could be just having really poor judgement and methodically hitting on anyone that strikes their fancy.

It depends on where it's coming from, and the only way to really understand it is through dialogue. Could be someone like Kurt, who has something to share. But then again, maybe ValKyrie doesn't want to share. Regardless, this is kind of a fuzzy area even in a BDSM circle, so I'd be very interested in hearing what kind of future dialogue or conclusions you (or others similarly pursued) infer from this.

While conventional wisdom indicates it's probably the 'methodically hitting on anyone' scenario, you never know what's around the corner until you peek. If you're happy where you are, and don't want to risk having a dominant whine for attention (!), just be firm from the beginning and say, "No trolls please." If you're curious, I don't think any real harm can come from a conversation. You might make a good friend, someone who you can respect and respect you, a buddy in the craft.

Don't think you're looking for advice in that arena, ValKyrie, but that's how I'd approach it.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Maybe you look great and they just fancy you?

I'm inclined to agree with this assessment, too.

[Gallardo]

It is precisely the fact of getting rebuked and rejected repeatdly that makes the chase all the more sweet. And Gary and Andrew make a good point.

[masterkurt]

Sorry, perhaps I misunderstood. I thought the question was whether a Dom and a Domme could make a good couple ....

Now I understand the question is "why do doms keep harrassing dommes" ...
well I can't say anything about this ... I did not even suspect that this happens so commonly ....

The only answer I can think is "because there are a lot of idiots around"

Someone may think that every woman MUST be a potential slave, so that there is a special challenge in trying to enslave a domme .... and this is already stupid ....

... add to this the fact that some individuals feel they must harrass any woman they come across and a domme is something "kinky" so it's even more compulsory to try hard ....

Of course there might be some chance that a Domme could have also submissive inclinations, esactly as someone pointed out that a Dom could be secretly looking for a mistress who may submit him .... there might be a chance, but it surely is not very likely.

I remember a Domme I met and who enjoyed my slave who suggested more than once that I could enjoy playing a submissive role with her, what I refused everytime with a lot of amusement.... I am not interested in male submissiveness, generally speaking and in myself as a slave in particular.

Anyone who speaks about "breaking" a woman into submissiveness only proves that he has very little experience and knows very little about women.

[sweetplymate]

Anyone who speaks about "breaking" a woman into submissiveness only proves that he has very little experience and knows very little about women.

this last line made me actually fall out of my chair laughing....simply because it is so true.

~sp