The first time you said I was a good girl
my heart danced with excitement and I
waited for you to notice me again.

The first time you said my name I saved it
in my heart to replay later
when it stopped pounding.

The first time you called me I came
to you and begged you
to keep me.

The first time you touched me I broke
my heart by giving it to you
unasked.

The first time you hurt me
I begged you for it
to stop, but I didn’t mean it.
And you knew what I wanted.

The first time you held me I knew
you were going to let me go
and I was going to beg you not to
silently.

The first time you left I knelt
by the door and cried because you
didn’t know what I wanted.

The first time you saw me, after, I was unchanged
but only where you could see;
everywhere else I was a mess

The first time you touched me, after,
you patted my head and said I was a good girl.
And I knew I wasn’t what you wanted.

The first time you touched her
I screamed and burned and wept with her
You didn’t know I wanted to be her.

The first time I left, you waved
and you may never see that I am still a good girl
in waiting.