Sir Russell, if you don't mind me writing this, i have been and am still going thru a difficult relationship with my mom. it's been as long as i can remember. she has a good heart but a mean&bitter mouth.
In Asia, good behaviors do not guarantee a praise. it's the culture, which pushes one to do better (instead of being arrogant). we live in a pretty strict environment with various unspoken rules, values, and traditions.
having these constraints, at the darkest hours, i manage to recollect the happiest and kindest things she's done for me. these keep me going. i love her unconditionally and try to avoid her when she's intentionally being mean.

May the Lord bless you and your family with peace and comfort.

Respectfully yours,
polarbear