You've got a really good flow to your language which makes it a very easy read, which is quite an art. Good work.

It's quite good and my only real critisism is regarding the lack of description of her feelings. I would like to know how she feels. I want to get into her head. I want to feel what she feels. I want to look out through her eyes. Smell with her nose.

It's a good story. Please keep going. I'd love to read the rest of it.

ps! Don't be nervous. Just by taking this leap it allready makes you a winner. The people who never try are the ones who never fail. But I understand. I'm just the same way. It's terrifying having your work picked apart.