Great responses everyone. But I will expand a little on the original post. I do find it interesting to note that virtually all of the stories, both positive and negative, ended up in an in person meeting. That was how I got started on the topic in the first place...

I was questioning some who form an online relationship, in some cases every bit as intense as a r/l one, but with no plan of ever meeting or taking it further. I know from experience that one can develop very strong feelings for someone (argueably even true love) online. I could never see myself being satisfied with leaving it at that. At some point I would be compelled to jump on a plane and take it to the next level! Or at least find out for sure if it had a next level.

As far as the pictures/webcam things goes...

I have a lot of respect for those people who don't consider it important. I'm just not one of them! You can call me shallow if you want (I call it being honest), but looks do matter to me. Not that someone has to be "beautiful" in the traditional cover girl sense, but I think most people like me have certain types we're physically attracted to and certain types we are not. Jokingly, I refer to it as the "anorexic crack whore look" (without the crack of course). Basically I am attracted to very small petite girls, couldn't care less about breast size, and I appreciate a pretty face and smile. I tried online dating a few years ago. As a programmer, I have many friends who are into it so I figured...why not! In both cases it was a disaster! Both sent pics I might add! The first turned out to be a pigmy with horrible table manners, and the other must have had her photo airbrushed with a paint roller!

In the end I packed up and headed to the bar to go back to meeting women the old fashioned way!

I can see that the overwhelming common variable in both online and r/l relationships is honesty. Trust takes so long to build and is so fragile. Maybe the two types of relationships are not as different as I thought!

Thanks for the well thought responses everyone!