Online vs R/L relationships

[wannabeXopsed]

Great responses everyone. But I will expand a little on the original post. I do find it interesting to note that virtually all of the stories, both positive and negative, ended up in an in person meeting. That was how I got started on the topic in the first place...

I was questioning some who form an online relationship, in some cases every bit as intense as a r/l one, but with no plan of ever meeting or taking it further. I know from experience that one can develop very strong feelings for someone (argue-ably even true love) online. I could never see myself being satisfied with leaving it at that. At some point I would be compelled to jump on a plane and take it to the next level! Or at least find out for sure if it had a next level.

As far as the pictures/webcam things goes...

I have a lot of respect for those people who don't consider it important. I'm just not one of them! You can call me shallow if you want (I call it being honest), but looks do matter to me. Not that someone has to be "beautiful" in the traditional cover girl sense, but I think most people like me have certain types we're physically attracted to and certain types we are not. Jokingly, I refer to it as the "anorexic crack whore look" (without the crack of course). Basically I am attracted to very small petite girls, couldn't care less about breast size, and I appreciate a pretty face and smile. I tried online dating a few years ago. As a programmer, I have many friends who are into it so I figured...why not! In both cases it was a disaster! Both sent pics I might add! The first turned out to be a pigmy with horrible table manners, and the other must have had her photo airbrushed with a paint roller!

In the end I packed up and headed to the bar to go back to meeting women the old fashioned way!

I can see that the overwhelming common variable in both online and r/l relationships is honesty. Trust takes so long to build and is so fragile. Maybe the two types of relationships are not as different as I thought!

Thanks for the well thought responses everyone!

I have to say, MrJersyGuy, while reading your post, I figured us to about the same age! I am only a mere 2 years older than you.

Now for your thoughts on meeting women the old fashioned way! I have been dating since I was 16, such a long time ago :rolleyes: , men(a lot of men, not all) haven't change either, they are still the same way by saying one thing, and doing another. I have met almost as many men on line as I have in bars. :eek: Or any other place available. Grocery stores, library, gas station, lumber yard, mmm, one of my favorite toy stores, Home depot!;) The r/l meetings are just as strained and I have spent a lot time trying to get to know them(men) and trying to see how sincere they all are. It has all come down to the same thing, and if they can get me all tied up,,( :D ) sorta speak, and I cave in to willful desire, all or most have turned into one night stands, and these days it is now way to risky to do that these days.

Yes you are absolutely right that it has to be in the eye of the beholder. But unfortunately the men lie on line as much as they do in r/l. I have been honest up front with trying not to be a liar,rude,obnoxious or missing leading. The word "fat" is always offensive when described, but yet it is the truth, and there are men who only want to use and play and a lot of "fat" women are targeted, thus find themselves just used and abused. I understand that men like you, if truthful and tactful can be sensitive to anyone they talk to.

I find on-line is much easier even with the strain of receiving a picture taken form their prom picture back in 1974, and one of my favorites is the wedding picture with the ex cropped off. I like the ones that they are so far way you can only tell that they are standing. They would be better off saying they haven't got one than sending one that you know is old. :p I personally have only recent pictures I use and update frequently.:), and I make sure they are close up so they know what their getting their selfs into. Honesty is the best policy as always in the end.

Honesty hurts also, I recently lost a wonderful long distance Dom/Master, that I knew would never be more than on line. I was progressing very nicely and because it was long distance and would never be more than anything else, I was excused from my position, not just because of the distance, but he didn't believe in what was promised in the beginning, when I had explained I was a large woman. Master told me, it didn't matter, and that was the end of that conversation, as time progressed it came down to he wasn't and couldn't get beyond my size even I had been successful and was progressing into the submissive he wanted and my desire to submit was 100%:( Sir could not get beyond the "fat". It hurt for days, and I need to move on. It is hard, but I am not ready ready to quit my training.(sorry a little self pity here):confused:

So one can, or least I found out that he was important to me, and I knew from the start that it was never going to be more, but it came down to looks. Virtual on line relationships are not any easier than r/l ones are.

Being the hopeless romantic, I am still going to hold out for my story to unfold like FF, and TG's and have a happy ending. :D

If this seems long I apologize but I have often ask the same questions. And as you can see if any of it makes sense, I am passionate!:cool:

Thanks T :cool: