Hello, MrJerseyGuy, No I do not have a self esteem issue, I was just pointing out that, I was up front with my former Master, implored him to be honest from the beginning,but 2 months later I was told he could not continue because of my size! That is exactly what I was trying to avoid in the beginning, to find an online Dom that I could learn from and know that I wasn't going to be tossed out like cold bath water! Whether a r/l meeting would happen or not.

I almost wish it had been because I had misbehaved so poorly and was such a brat, that he was finished with me.

I have made it now my own choice to not ask for a visual online, unless the Dom wants to share it with me, because it's not gonna matter. I only hope that with a description of themselves they are as honest as I am, and that is when you have to be VERY honest.

So in real time or online relationship they are still the same, you get attached to some and others not so much. But online can be just as hard to cope with as online.

No, it wasn't a total waste of time, but it would have saved me the heart ache of which I was afraid of to begin with. The attachment that I got to understanding him and I was just beginning to understand how to behave, so if anything, I am being selfish in that I wanted something to go on till I am told or that I feel that (mutally) I am ready to jump to the next level which is r/t.


PS. I forgot to mention, what caught my eye to begin with was when meeting someone for the first time your are already nervous and wondering if you gonna make it though a meal, but then to have to watch someone sit across from you with no table manners, it just seems to be easier to go the bar. Not to forget mentioning, smelling good, dressed in more than sweats, and one of my worst was he didn't have any teeth!!! Yikes.

Thanks. T