... but it didn't seem to work all that well. Well, now I'm not going to be very nice and I'm going to say what I feel about the (off topic) subject matter currently being smeared about like cow manure in this thread.

First off, this is not a Gor group or chat. For the most part, we are non-denominational BDSMers around here and will pretty much let anyone in as long as they obey the rules and don't become condescending, self-absorbed braggarts. However, what we ask here is that peoples' views are respected. If the people here cannot offer advice politely, have good discussions (or even polite heated debates), and cannot act in a mature, responsible and realistic fashion, then I'll be all too happy to show those people the way out of here.

Secondly, the starter of this thread, PandorasBox, is not a Gorean, nor has she ever claimed to even remotely have any interest in the Gorean "lifestyle." So, if the advice given to her cannot be applied in a polite manner, first, and in a real-world context, second, then it doesn't need to be given at all. And it especially doesn't need to be given with healthy doses of condescension, vanity, arrogance and outright rudeness. In case it was missed by the offenders participating in this thread, these forums do have a Code of Conduct (in other words, a list of easy-to-follow rules). That Code of Conduct protects against unwarranted harassment of one member by another. Essentially, acting immaturely and rudely is reason to be removed from these forums.

Thirdly, many of us here have relationships, whether online or offline. For some of the people here, the contents of this thread might have offered some good advice and answers to questions they might feel about their relationships, but are afraid to ask. However, when some people here see an obnoxious individual belittling and degrading the starter of this potentially informative thread, then some of those people become less inclined to post to this thread and ask their own questions and seek their own advice. When things like that happen, I get a little cranky, because I firmly believe that everyone should have the right to post here and not be harassed or belittled for their questions and opinions; at least, not if they have stated them intelligently and maturely. And anyone that doesn't like or respect that policy can leave now and I won't miss them a bit.

Finally, and I want to be very clear about this: I don't give a damn how much time or experience any person here has in their chosen lifestyle, that still does not give anyone the right to impose a holier-than-thou attitude on the others here. I don't give a damn if someone's been in a real life relationship for 30 years or in an online one for 30 minutes. Everyone here has the right to ask their questions, have them answered politely and not have their lives belittled for what someone else might think is silly nonsense. Just because someone has experience at something doesn't mean they're good at it. I can watch people build rockets for 20 years, but that doesn't make me a rocket scientist. So, what's good for one person isn't necessarily right for another. If anyone has a problem with that, leave. I'm not kidding. Pick up your shit and get out.

Now, on a personal note, I'm going to say this: Gor was a great bit of fiction that spanned the better part of a quarter century, but that's what they were: Fiction. In my opinion, Goreans don't even belong under the same big "umbrella" as people that practice BDSM, because most of the Goreans I know don't understand some of the most basic concepts of BDSM. And if anyone wants to debate the finer points of Gor vs. BDSM with me, then open a new thread on that subject and be polite.