Pandora,

Thanks, it's always nice to know a comment was helpful.

I can also identify with the dilemma of having it be so good at times that it makes a decision about whether to continue much more difficult. I'd say that the majority of the time, my Master and I are wonderfully connected and in touch with the other's needs and wants...in vanilla and s/m contexts. However, there have been some glaring issues for me lately that he doesn't seem to truly grasp what I'm thinking or trying to communicate. Thus, he treats them as if they're relatively minor issues while they continue to get in the way for me.

So, along the lines of...
Quote Originally Posted by mythicat
you may have to spell it out for him...not just drop the ball in his court, but bounce it off his head.
...we got in a heated discussion/argument. It actually ended up being in an M/s context as well since my attempts to discuss matters as equals hadn't impressed upon him the severity of my troubles. However, that seemed to help to shock him enough to get him to realize a bit more of what I'm going through.

Basically, during an IM, he made a comment regarding a problem that I'd brought up earlier. His comment was made flippantly and it regarded an aspect of how I deal with certain situations that he knew was less than accurate. So I called him on it. I told him that what he'd said was "bullshit" and I preceeded to tell him why. Now I can swear as efficiently as most people in appropriate situations, but he'd never heard me do it as a sub unless in a moaning response to pain/pleasure. I felt disrespectful as I don't find that an appropriate way to address my dom, but there are only so many ways to get that sort of "heads-up" value of a ball bounced on his head via IM.

After that, we actually had the start of a promising discussion. So, sometimes I guess the shock value may be worth a try if nothing else is working.

eb