I've probably missed the boat here having just read the thread but anyway. Speaking as someone who has had an extremely time-demanding job and as a bloke; firstly, you can always make time for someone but if you only have a few hours of time a week free they become extremely valuable and the only life you have. Your partner has to understand that, it may mean that what you consider is a tiny slice of time is what he considers a lot, he may even have already sacrificed many other things to allow you even that. He may see it in those terms, like he has 4 hours a week of free time and he devotes 2 of them to you, that that is generous. It is very difficult to cut your job hours down in certain situations, sometimes it's an all-or-nothing thing with no happy part-time medium. I think if his work falls into that category, without significant seasonal variation to achieve adequate compensation, you are going to struggle in this relationship and will ultimately always be playing catch-up. If the job is here to stay and is uncompromising then you may have to accept a very small amount of time if that is genuinely all he can give. If it isn't, what does he spend his time doing that he can sacrifice to spend more time with you?

When I have been busy at work it seems like I spend very little time with my girlfriend, I do value that time a lot but I equally need free time away from her to do other things ( she gets this time while I am working evenings,weekends, nights...etc...). This need is not immediately apparent until you view things from the opposite perspective, I've had problems in previous relationships from this issue and inequalities in the balance of housework that did not acknowledge that I worked over 3 times as many hours a week than my partner. I'm blithering away from the point now so I'll stop

Secondly, expecting someone to pick up on your hints and being frustrated when they don't is something I've been on the recieving end of; nearly always asking, 'Why didn't you just say so explicitly ?' . I know it's the stereotypical Venus/Mars guff but I do think you need to be very specific with your man. There are seldom relationship problems that get better resolution than from an intimate and honest discussion with all cards laid on the table. Sometimes it may be scary to do this because we're afraid that it may end 'badly', I think it's better to work things through than to have the uncertainty and constant nagging of unresolved issues. You may find a very acceptable compromise. My frank advice would be to make time (hours) for a face to face discussion with complete honesty on both sides. If you don't think he has time for E-mails and such this should be better and also something so important surely deserves proper attention.

Hope you sort your life out