I had a thought the other night that might give some insight:

One of the things that has always held me back in my life is a desire for things to have consequences. Sometimes that has to do with guilt, like the tendency I have always had to want to "punish" myself for doing something wrong (like when I have a day where I don't get anything done I never manage to get to bed that night, because I don't feel like I "deserve" it), but sometimes it just means wanting to be rewarded for the things I do accomplish, or just wanting to know that someone *cares* how I'm doing. I grew up in the suburbs in a world of safety and self-esteem -- I was one of those kids who got a trophy for just belonging to the swim team. I always wanted someone to appreciate me for reasons that seemed *real.*

In D/s I have been pushed to do things that I never ever thought I could do, and I know that my Master really appreciates me because he knows as well as I do how much strength it has taken. Hell, I didn't know how strong I was before this. Not that I don't have a long way to go (if I was a *good* sub I would be cleaning the kitchen right now), but I have conquered fears that I thought were essential parts of who I am, and found that I'm happy to let them go.